Miracle of Life
by rwusydney
Summary: PJ. This picks up where Season 4 left off and it basically ignores large chunks of that Coda episode, all of Season 5 and most of Season 6. This is a future fic with a nice fluffy ending. This story is complete! Enjoy!
1. Prologue

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is told from two different points of view: Joey and Pacey alternately. Each part lists at the top whose POV it is written from. There are some things one must know before reading this story. 1) In my world, Mr. Brooks did not die as he did on the show and so he did not leave any money for Dawson and so Dawson never paid for Joey's college tuition. Instead, she sucked it up and got herself some student loans. 2) In my world, Grams did not move to Boston with Jen and Jack. There is no particular reasoning behind this other than that it helps my story line. 3) In my world, Coda never happened! Well, let me be clear: Joey and Dawson got one goodbye—the one that happened when he dropped her off after the movies. There was no watching ET, no "favorite this, favorite that" game. No "sooner or later you're going to have to realize how great you are" comment 'cause that just made me puke. And two more things that never happened: the "magic" speech and the kiss. No siree, not in my world. Now please read on and see what does happen in my world…..  
  
  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
Joey  
  
It had been one hundred and five days since I last saw him. It had been one hundred and five days since he left to spend the summer working on a yacht and since he left to get away from me. I missed him so badly. The summer taught me the true meaning of the phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I imagined that hadn't been his plan at all, though, when he decided to leave. He left to fall out of love with me. To forget me. To forget us. And that scared me more than anything as Jen, Jack and I drove along the interstate highway on our way to Miami. It was Jen's idea. She was sick of seeing me mope, of watching me zone of out life and into my thoughts. Jen and Jack had just moved into their dorm rooms over at Boston Bay College and I had moved into my dorm at Worthington. We'd been there just two days, all three of us participating in our tedious orientation activities and then spending the evenings together.  
  
"Okay, that's it. Joey you're going to ask Mr. Kubelik where the boat will be docking and then we're going there to find Pacey," she said in a frustrated tone, standing up from where she was sitting on the floor in my dorm room and grabbing my wrist. "Let's go."  
  
"I'm sorry," I said breaking free from Jen's grip. "I'm sorry, you guys," I said glancing between Jen and Jack. "I know I'm being a pain. I just need to get started with school and then I'll be able to forget everything else."  
  
"Joey," Jack said disbelieving me. "You've been moping around for the entire summer. Something tells me this isn't something that is going to just go away once school starts. You need to resolve it once and for all."  
  
I brought my hands to my head in frustration and moaned.  
  
"C'mon, Joey. This orientation crap is for the birds anyway. We could all use a road trip," Jen encouraged.  
  
"My car is just sitting in the lot over at Boston Bay waiting to be used," Jack helped.  
  
"We can't really ditch orientation, can we?" I asked them.  
  
"Why not?" They practically said it in unison and I couldn't keep the smile from forming on my face.  
  
In the backseat of Jack's Saab, hours later, I sat staring out the window thinking about what I wanted to say to him when I saw him. The music was on low inside the car and Jen was reading the map while Jack drove. It was nice the way we had formed our own "group" over the course of the summer. Their friendships had become so important to me over the summer that I probably wouldn't have survived without them.  
  
"Thank you, guys," I said suddenly poking my head between the two front seats. I turned my head to look at both of them then kissed each of their cheeks in appreciation.  
  
"Joey!" they yelled at me. Pretending to be grossed out by my gesture, they wiped viciously at their faces. I smiled and leaned back in the seat again.  
  
We all took shifts driving and made it to Miami in two days. We arrived at the dock three hours before the expected arrival of the dean's yacht.  
  
"This is the craziest thing I have ever done," I confessed to Jack and Jen as the three of us tried to drift off to sleep for the three hours we had left.  
  
Jen turned around quickly in the passenger seat to look at me. "Oh yeah, and like leaving last summer on a boat for three months with no change of clothes with a guy you were just starting a relationship with wasn't crazy?"  
  
I laughed. "What can I say? Pacey makes me do crazy things."  
  
"So, what are you gonna say to him?" Jack asked.  
  
I sighed and leaned back against the seat. "I don't know. Whatever comes out of my mouth, I guess."  
  
"You must have thought about it," Jen said.  
  
"It's all I've thought about for months, not to mention this entire car ride. There's so much to say, but I don't know if I can say it. And then I keep thinking, what if he's not happy to see me."  
  
"He will be," Jack said quickly.  
  
"Yeah," Jen agreed. "I mean, you told me that Dawson said he asked about you when he called. That means he still cares about you."  
  
I nodded thinking of that last night before Dawson left for the USC summer program when he'd told me every word Pacey said on the phone. It was the one and only thing that kept me even remotely hopeful throughout the summer.  
  
"A relationship like you guys had doesn't just get erased in one summer," Jack piped in. "He will be happy to see you."  
  
"I hope so," I said biting my lip.  
  
Jen and Jack fell asleep shortly after that but I couldn't sleep. I was too consumed by excitement and nerves, so I took a walk out to the end of the dock. I sat there and just stared out at the harbor waiting. The yacht arrived an hour late and when I recognized it from Mr. Kubelik's description, I got up from where I was sitting and went to wake Jack and Jen. The passengers departed first and I started fidgeting and biting my lip. I stood between Jack and Jen, all three of us leaning up against Jack's car.  
  
"You okay?" Jack asked sweetly, rubbing my back.  
  
"He's gonna be really glad that you're here, Joey," Jen said reassuringly.  
  
When all of the passengers were off the boat, we could see the crew taking care of all the last minutes things on board and Jack and Jen made me go closer. When I reached the railing about fifty feet from the dock, I saw him. He swung his bag over his shoulder and started down the dock. He was smiling, like I hadn't seen him smile since we got off the True Love at the end of the previous summer. My chest ached at the sight of him. He looked so good. If it were anyone else, I would've said he needed a haircut and a shave but on him it looked so good. I glanced behind me at the car where Jen and Jack were standing and they waved me on.  
  
It felt like I was in slow motion as I advanced towards the dock. Soon it would be too late to turn back and I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I set my eyes straight on him and just waited for him to look my way. When he did, I waved. He stopped where he was and the smile disappeared from his face. He stared at me for what felt like an eternity. I waved again. Finally, I saw him crack a smile but he was trying to hide it as he started walking again. We met at the end of the dock and made eye contact for a second before we both looked away quickly.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he finally asked. I was relieved that his tone of voice seemed to convey a happy surprise at me being there and it gave me the courage to look up at him.  
  
"I, uh, I asked Mr. Kubelik where the boat would be docking and then I talked Jack and Jen into taking a road trip with me," I told him pointing over my shoulder to where Jack and Jen stood by the car. I watched him wave to them, smiling even more.  
  
"A road trip, huh?"  
  
I nodded. "So, did you have a good time?" I asked, chickening out of saying what I had really come to say.  
  
"It was unbelievable. The time of my life. But something tells me you didn't drive all the way to Miami from Massachusetts to ask me if I had a good time," he grinned and I felt my face flush as he called my bluff. I don't know why I thought he'd buy it.  
  
"Can we...can we sit down?" I asked him pointing to a nearby bench.  
  
"So, what's up?" he said after we were sitting side by side on the bench.  
  
I turned towards him and took a deep breath. "Well, I've had all summer to think about all of the things you said to me at the prom..." my voice trailed off as he hung his head at the memory. "I have to admit when you first said all of those things to me, I thought you were just being a jerk and accusing me of things that I didn't do because you didn't want to blame yourself..."  
  
"Which is exactly what that was," he cut me off and as I looked at him I saw the same guilty look in his eyes I'd seen on prom night when we'd talked outside after he'd embarrassed me in front of everyone.  
  
"Yeah, I know you said that before but like I said, I've had all summer to think about this and I realized some things."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like, well, when they called your name at graduation, I was surprised and then relieved. My first reaction was not happiness or pride but surprise and relief. I should've had more faith in you than that." He sighed and I looked straight ahead as I went on.  
  
"And I never wanted to talk about the future with you because I knew our futures were not going to be the same. It's like I already had your whole life decided for you before you even had a chance to make any decisions yourself. I mean, I could've talked to you and we could've decided together that you were coming with me to Boston whether you went to college or not. It's what I wanted but I was too afraid to say it or to admit that I thought you weren't going to college." I let out a deep breath and looked at him again. He was staring straight ahead, resting his chin in his hand.  
  
"And there are a million other things I'm sorry about. I'm sorry for lying to Dawson about you and I making love. I don't know why I did it but when I think about it now I realize how much of a let down that must have been for you. It must've seemed like I was embarrassed or ashamed or even worse like I was still waiting for Dawson and too afraid to tell him the truth because it would ruin my chances. I'm so sorry for that. More than you'll ever know because making love with you has been one of the most important experiences in my life and I made it seem so trivial." I was crying so I stopped to wipe my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him watching me.  
  
"I was so hard on you sometimes. I gave you a hard time about wanting to help me and love me and I don't know why I behaved like that when you were giving me exactly what I wanted. I mean, you have always been exactly what I want. And, I still love you Pacey. I came here today to tell you that and to tell you that I'm sorry for everything. This summer has been so strange without you," I chuckled a little then looked over at him. "I'm so jealous that you spent the summer on a boat without me."  
  
"I had to go," he said apologetically.  
  
"I know. I started to understand that about mid-July after I got over being really mad at you for leaving things unresolved." I saw him smile in appreciation of my humor. "So, did you find what you were looking for out there on the open waters?" I asked him.  
  
"Oh, I don't know. I guess I realized some things."  
  
"Like?"  
  
He sighed. "Like that this trip, this job, has been the first thing in my life that I've really done for myself. I never realized it until I had the time to think about it but I've always done things to make other people happy. Like with school; I don't know why I never wanted to do well in school for myself. I only ever felt motivated to do good for Andie or for you or to prove my parents wrong but never just because I wanted it for myself. Maybe it's because I never got any validation from my parents that I spend my life looking for it. But I have to stop caring so much about what other people think and start caring a whole lot more about what I think. It's the only way I'm ever going to figure out what the heck I want to do with my life."  
  
We both thought quietly for a moment. "I know that I haven't really proven it this past year but I want you to know that I do believe in you. I always have and I think you have so much potential, so much to offer the world." I smiled and touched him lightly on the shoulder.  
  
Our eyes met and he smiled. "So, did you have a good summer?" he asked.  
  
"You mean despite the whole missing you part? Yeah, I did. Jen and I have become real close. She's been a good friend. And Jack and Jen did a real good job of keeping me busy so I wouldn't be thinking about you all the time."  
  
"Dawson's gone?" he asked.  
  
I nodded. "It was so weird saying goodbye to him. And sad. But it's time for all of us to move on to this next phase of life. And we'll always be friends no matter where we are."  
  
"I called him a couple weeks after I left."  
  
"I know," I smiled. "He told me."  
  
Pacey laughed. "I should've known."  
  
"He knew that I needed to know you were okay. He knew that I needed to know something, anything about you. I was spending a whole lot of time moping around in his room after you left."  
  
"I wanted to call you but..."  
  
"I know."  
  
We were silent before he spoke again. "So, aren't you guys missing like your first week of classes to be here?"  
  
"We start on Monday. We're blowing off orientation week though."  
  
"Joey Potter blowing off orientation week," he said surprised.  
  
"I needed to see you," I said shrugging my shoulders.  
  
He nodded and glanced towards the ground. A deafening silence filled the air around us and I started getting nervous again. I wanted to kill the awkwardness and in my desire to do so I asked the worst possible question.  
  
"So, what are you going to do now?"  
  
He chuckled and seemed to take it pretty well. "I hadn't really given it much thought."  
  
I took a deep breath and then proceeded to say something else that I knew was likely to make him uncomfortable. But, I needed him to know how I felt. "I'm sure this is very presumptuous of me but there is a floor in my dorm room which Jen tells me is extremely comfortable. I have lots of blankets because I'm always cold and I'd even go so far as to give up one of my pillows."  
  
"Joey..." he started with hesitation in his voice.  
  
"I know what you're going to say so just forget I even mentioned it." Disappointment showed in my face as I stood up from the bench. "I better get going because we have a long ride back. You probably have a plane to catch or something."  
  
"Joey," he said standing up and taking my hands in his. It was the first time he'd touched me since the night I'd spent with him after the Worthington party. He weakened me just by touching me and I suddenly wanted to put my arms around him and never let go. I felt myself starting to cry and he reached up to wipe the tears away.  
  
"Please stop touching me," I begged. I was surprised when he put his arms around me and I squeezed my eyes shut to revel in the feeling of it.  
  
"I know we have a lot of stuff to work through, Pacey. But I really want this to work."  
  
"Me too, Jo," he said softly. I pulled away from him then so I could look at him. "But, this is just a little too fast for me."  
  
I averted my eyes to the ground. "Okay," I said disappointed.  
  
"It's just, if we weren't ready for this before then I doubt we're ready now."  
  
"You're probably right," I said looking up at him again. "But if there's one thing I realized this summer it's how much I hate being away from you."  
  
He smiled, embarrassed. "I just can't sleep on your floor. And you have your own life to live right now. You can't let me spoil that."  
  
"Why do you keep saying that? I told you before and I'll tell you a million times, I won't ever be able to really enjoy this new life of mine without you."  
  
He sighed and hung his head in defeat.  
  
"Pacey," I said using my index finger to lift his chin and force him to look at me again. "I really wish you'd stop trying to let me off the hook because you think I deserve better. It's really pretty insulting." He crossed his arms across his chest and smiled at me. "First of all, you're insulting the man that I love and secondly, you're insulting me because I don't want to be with anyone but him. Maybe that makes me some kind of idiot but I want to be an idiot." I lunged forward afraid of being rejected and kissed him. To my delight, he kissed me back and he put his hands on me in the gentle, loving way I was used to.  
  
"Okay, okay," he said pulling away from me after a few seconds and holding a hand out to keep me away from him. It made me laugh a little.  
  
"Well, if you weren't so damn stubborn I wouldn't have to resort to such measures," I said sarcastically. He laughed and then started rubbing his eyes the way he always did when he was trying to figure stuff out.  
  
"I'm going back to Capeside," he said after a few seconds. And when he saw me open my mouth to protest, he held that hand out again and spoke. "I'll stay with Doug for awhile. I'll look for jobs and apartments in Boston and in the meantime, we can see each other on weekends."  
  
I sighed and folded my arms across my chest. "How about phone calls? Would phone calls be off limits?"  
  
"I think that would be okay," he smiled. "You know, it's hard for me too, Jo. I'm just trying to be realistic about this."  
  
"I know," I said in a softer tone of voice as I moved forward to hug him again. 


	2. Part 1

PART 1  
  
Joey  
  
At nine months pregnant, I had little energy and enjoyed my time at home on the couch watching all the daytime soaps. This day was different though. It was my due date, the day on which the doctor predicted I would give birth to my first child. I couldn't enjoy the soaps, my mind kept wandering and I kept watching the clock. My husband, Pacey, was due home at any moment. He'd only had to administer one final exam to his high school English students before school was out for the summer. I kept worrying that I'd go into labor before 12:00 when he'd promised to come home.  
  
"Joey, I'm home!" Pacey called to me from the back door. I struggled to get up from the couch to greet him but couldn't quite make it. "Don't get up. Just stay right there and let me come to you," he said in his concerned tone, the one he'd picked up the day I told him I was pregnant. It always made me smile to hear in his voice how much he loved me and cared for me.  
  
"What's the smile for?" he said sitting beside me on the couch and placing his hand gently on my stomach.  
  
"I'm just glad to see you. I've been worried all day that it'd happen before you got here." I opened my arms and leaned toward him for a hug.  
  
"I told you I'd be here," he said stroking my hair.  
  
"I know." I leaned back on the fluffy pillows; I was getting tired again.  
  
"How'd the exam go? Everybody happy to be out for the summer?"  
  
"The exam went well and I don't know about everyone else, but I'm certainly happy to be out for the summer."  
  
"I miss school," I said sadly. "I miss all my students. This was my first year not judging the art fair."  
  
"Oh yeah, that's what I was supposed to tell you," he said in an excited tone. "Daniel Ryder won first prize in the art fair."  
  
I sat up quickly. Daniel Ryder was my best, and secretly, my favorite student. He was so talented and more importantly he had a passion for art. I'd written him a glowing recommendation for his application to the Massachusetts College of Art where he would be going to school in the fall.  
  
"Oh, that's so great! I wish I could have seen his painting," I said in a more somber tone.  
  
"I thought you might say that," Pacey said getting up from the couch. "And so did Daniel because he sent it home for you."  
  
"What?"  
  
Pacey returned to the living room with the 8x10 canvas and handed it to me. "He says you can't have it. He needs it back before he goes to Boston but he wanted you to see it." Pacey said with a grin.  
  
"Oh, wow, this is beautiful," I said holding the painting out in front of me. It was full of color, dark colors and light colors, almost an even amount of each. There was no real shape in the painting, just lots of color and I wasn't surprised at all that it was so abstract. Daniel had once told me that he thought art was meant to be "vague and obscure. I like art that you have to figure out." I smiled at the memory.  
  
"Have you looked at this Pacey?" I asked looking away from the painting and up at my husband.  
  
"Yeah," he said joining me again on the couch. "It's really good. It was definitely the best one at the fair."  
  
"What do you think it is?" I asked him turning my attention back to the painting.  
  
"Me?" he asked with a laugh. "You're the art teacher. You interpret the art and I interpret the literature. Remember?"  
  
"But you have an appreciation for art. You've always supported me in my love for art."  
  
"Yeah, but that was just a ploy to win you over. It's called flirting. Telling the girl what she wants to hear," he joked.  
  
I gave him a lopsided grin and playfully smacked him on the knee. "Stop it."  
  
"Seriously," he said. "I think it's a self portrait."  
  
"What?" I said in disbelief. I was staring at a painting that had tons of color but I did not see anything even remotely resembling human form.  
  
"Where do you see that?"  
  
"Look," Pacey said pointing to the plaque at the bottom of the painting that all entries in the fair were required to have. It read: Self Portrait by Daniel Ryder. Thanks to Mrs. Witter for the guidance, the support and the inspiration.  
  
I smiled and felt tears welling up in my eyes. "It's moments like these that make me really glad I became a teacher." I got up from the couch to lean the painting against the wall so I could continue to stare at it.  
  
"It's like the second best job in the world," Pacey agreed.  
  
"What's the first?" I asked anticipating his goofy response.  
  
"Being a parent," he said with a happy smile.  
  
I joined him on the couch again. "Are you getting all sentimental on me, or what?" I teased.  
  
He smiled. "It's just...I can't believe I'm going to be a father."  
  
I felt a tingle of happiness in my stomach at knowing I could make him this happy. "I know," I said grabbing his hand. "I can't believe I'm going to be a mother." I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt tears gathering in my throat.  
  
I felt Pacey caressing my hand and then heard his gentle voice. "Thinking about your Mom?"  
  
I just nodded without opening my eyes. If I opened my eyes I knew the tears would spill out and I didn't want that. I'd been thinking about my mother a lot more than usual lately which I knew had everything to do with the fact that I was on the verge of becoming a mother myself. I kept seeing this image of her in an orange dress lifting me, at about age five, up into the air and then spinning me around. We were in the backyard of our house in Capeside, out by the creek and we were both laughing and smiling. My mother's dark brown hair swayed behind her in the gentle summer breeze as we spun. Her smile was so real and so bright. I had never forgotten her smile even after fifteen years.  
  
I finally opened my eyes to see Pacey. He was smiling with concern because he knew the pain I was feeling. He knew it not from experience but because he'd helped me through it for as long as I could remember.  
  
"If we have a daughter, I hope she looks just like my mother," I said softly. "And if we have a son, I want him to look just like you."  
  
"I have to tell you," I went on. "I'm a little scared that I won't know how to be a good mother. She died so early, before I had a chance to learn anything real important from her. And she was a good mother, such a good mother. She paid attention to me, she made me feel like I was the center of her universe."  
  
"I think you'll do just fine. I really do because you and I we're just gonna give this kid everything we didn't have and always wanted. And I don't mean like the material things, I mean the important stuff like love and attention and support."  
  
"You're right. I know you're right. I just need you to keep telling me."  
  
"I may need you to tell me too."  
  
"Deal," I said squeezing his hand.  
  
"So, what do we do now to pass the time?"  
  
"I guess this is a little like 'a watched pot never boils.' I have a feeling if we sit here and wait for me to go into labor it'll never happen." I laughed at the thought.  
  
"Okay, well how about some lunch? You must be hungry?"  
  
"Sounds good."  
  
While Pacey made lunch for us, I stood by the huge picture window that looked out over the creek. I still hadn't quite wrapped my mind around the fact that we were back in Capeside. Oddly enough, we had decided that there was no place we'd rather raise our family than in Capeside and had moved from our apartment in Boston just a year ago. With two teacher salaries we were able to afford a gorgeous but small three bedroom home with an amazing view not too far from the house I grew up in. My sister Bessie and her husband Bodie still lived there with their two children, Alexander, 12 and Samantha, 8. They continued to run the Bed and Breakfast Bessie and I opened eleven years ago (with a lot of Pacey's help) in honor of our mother's dream. Not much had changed in Capeside in ten years. When I left to go to Worthington College in Boston, it was the last I'd seen of the place until Pacey and I moved back together. For the most part, all of the same people were there. Pacey's parents had remained in their home, although Pacey chose not to visit with them too often. Although my and Pacey's longtime childhood friend, Dawson Leery now lived in California with his wife, Gretchen (Pacey's sister) and their three daughters, his parents, Gale and Mitch, still lived in their home where they were busy raising Dawson's ten year old sister, Lily. Evelyn Ryan, Jen Lindley's grandmother still remained next door to the Leery's. Since Jen was now living in Boston with her fiancee, Tom, I spent a lot of afternoons with Evelyn just keeping her company. Mr. Brooks had died 3 years before, living much longer than was ever expected which everyone attributed to the love he and Evelyn shared for 7 years. Mr. Brooks' funeral had been the last time I had seen Dawson. He flew in from California with Gretchen, their oldest daughter Isabella and their second daughter, Kristina who was just a few months old at the time. Pacey and I came from Boston to support Evelyn who'd always been so kind to both of us.  
  
"Hon, lunch is ready," Pacey called to me forcing me out of my thoughts.  
  
I made my way to the kitchen and took my seat at the kitchen table. "I was just thinking, do you realize it's been three years since we've seen Dawson and Gretchen?"  
  
He thought for a minute. "Wow, you're right. The last time we saw them was Mr. Brooks' funeral. The kids must be getting so big."  
  
"Do you know if they have plans to come for the summer? That'd be nice. They could meet the baby, if I ever give birth to it, that is."  
  
Pacey laughed a little. "I think Gretchen mentioned something about it actually the last time I talked to her. Lily's birthday is coming up and so is Mitch and Gale's anniversary. Doug and Kerry are supposed to be coming in from Boston to stay with my parents for a little bit too. I think Gretchen mentioned that they wanted to see everybody."  
  
"We should try to get everybody here for a week or so this summer. We should call Jack, Andie and Jen. It could be like one of those corny 10 year reunions."  
  
"This pregnancy is having a very weird effect on you," he laughed.  
  
"No, seriously, I mean we haven't all been together in one place since high school and I think it'd be nice now that we're all sort of settled down in our lives to get back together."  
  
"You're right, it would be nice. We should give everybody a call after the baby is born and suggest it."  
  
"Why not now?" I said getting up from the table and heading for the phone.  
  
Pacey shook his head. "Or now."  
  
I dialed Jen's number and waited through two rings before Jen answered. "Jen, it's me, Joey!"  
  
"Hey, did you have the baby already?"  
  
"No, I wish. Today's the due date and we're just kinda sitting around waiting. The suspense is too much."  
  
"Well, you do realize that just because today is the due date doesn't mean you'll have the baby today..."  
  
"Yes, unfortunately I realize that." I laughed. I missed Jen so much. She and I had become so close ever since we'd spent the summer before our freshman year of college together. And all through college we'd been close since Worthington and Boston Bay College were only a few T stops apart. "Pacey and I were just talking about how great it would be if we could get everybody to come back here to Capeside for a week or two this summer. It's been so long since we were all here together. What d'ya think?"  
  
"That sounds great. I was actually planning to make a trip to good ol' Capeside real soon to see Grams and start planning the wedding. Tom and I decided to get married there so Grams wouldn't have to travel and it's beautiful there and it's where I came from, really. So just tell me when and I'm there."  
  
"Great, well I'll call everyone else and see what their plans are, when they're available and I'll call you back. Wanna say hi to Pace? Okay hold on."  
  
I passed the phone to Pacey and took off to our bedroom to find my address book with all of the other phone numbers in it. I was getting so excited at the prospect of seeing everyone. I felt like I was eighteen again. I went back into the living room with my address book. Pacey had hung up the phone and was sitting at the kitchen table finishing the sandwich he'd made for himself.  
  
"So, Jen's in," I said excitedly.  
  
"Yeah, she sounds excited. Thinks it's a little weird that you're the one planning this whole thing. Reunions are usually Andie's area of expertise."  
  
"Andie, I'll call Andie next."  
  
He glanced at his watch. "It's about six o'clock in Italy, so she's probably home."  
  
I dialed the long international number and waited for it to ring.  
  
"Ciao?" Andie's voice rang through the phone.  
  
"Andie, this is Joey!"  
  
"Joey?! Oh my god, how are you?"  
  
"I'm good. How are you?"  
  
"I'm great. I can't believe this is you. Oh, god, have you already had the baby?"  
  
"No, no, not yet. Today's the due date. Pacey and I are just hanging around waiting for it to happen. It feels like it never will."  
  
Andie laughed. "I know the feeling. Marco was 3 days late and those we're the 3 longest days of my life," she giggled and I smiled because Andie was the same. She had never changed and it was so comforting. She'd been living in Italy since she left half way through our senior year of high school. Instead of coming back and attending Harvard, she decided to stay and attend the University in Rome where she studied Italian and Psychology. She now worked as a high school guidance counselor at the local high school and lived with her husband Roberto and their five-year old son, Marco.  
  
"Oh, don't tell me that. I'm so anxious to have it over with and to know whether it's a boy or a girl. It's like the surprise of a lifetime. So, how are Roberto and Marco doing?"  
  
"Oh, they're great. School's almost over for Marco and I and we're both really looking forward to the summer."  
  
"Any chance you guys want to make a trip to the states this summer? We were thinking about how great it'd be if we got everyone back together here in Capeside for a small reunion. I already called Jen, I just have to call Dawson and Jack. We all want to meet those Italian men in your life."  
  
"Oh, that sounds so great, Joey. Count us in. As soon as we hang up, I'm going on the Internet to look for plane tickets."  
  
"It's going to be so good to see you Andie," I said.  
  
"I have to say, Joey, it's a little strange that you came up with this idea. This corny stuff is usually my turf." Andie laughed.  
  
"Jen said the same thing," I laughed. "I guess motherhood is just turning me into a huge sap."  
  
"It will certainly do that to you," she giggled. "So, how is Pacey?"  
  
"He's good. Here, say hi to him and, Andie, call me back when you find tickets. We'll plan the reunion around when you're able to make it."  
  
I handed the telephone to Pacey and took a seat on the couch again. I was tired again which, at this stage of my pregnancy, was no longer unusual. After a few minutes, Pacey joined me on the couch. He lifted my legs so that he could sit and then rested my legs in his lap. I opened my eyes slightly and smiled at him. "So, it sounds like everyone's excited. This will be really great."  
  
"Yeah," he smiled. "It's gonna be real good to see everybody." He started rubbing my feet. "You look tired. Try to get some sleep."  
  
*****  
  
When I woke again later to the sound of the phone ringing, it was dark out. I heard Pacey run to catch it before it rang twice, he hadn't wanted me to wake but I had anyway. I heard him whispering into the telephone. Another sweet attempt at trying to let me sleep. I loved him so much, everyday I discovered a new reason why.  
  
"Dawson," I heard him whisper, "we were going to call you earlier today. Joey's all into planning this whole reunion thing with everybody, Jen, Andie, Jack and Gretchen and you." I heard him chuckle a little. "I know, I know, everybody's been saying how weird it is that she thought this up. Even Andie."  
  
I picked up the telephone on the end table by the couch. "Hey, are you guys talking about me behind my back again?" I joked.  
  
"Us? No, never," Pacey teased as he appeared in the doorway of the living room.  
  
"Well, honestly, Pacey was just telling me how you've gone mad and decided to plan a Capeside reunion." I could hear the laughter in Dawson's voice.  
  
"Yeah, I really have no idea what's come over me, some kind of virus or something."  
  
Dawson chuckled. "So, how are you doing, Jo? You feeling okay?"  
  
"I'm fine. I'm just tired and anxious to get this all over with. How are Gretchen and the girls?"  
  
"Gretchen is great, the girls are fabulous. You guys won't believe how big they've gotten. It's really something else. And the baby, Ashley, you haven't even met her yet. Have you?"  
  
"No," Pacey and I said in unison.  
  
As Pacey joined me on the couch, I continued. "We've only seen the pictures Gretchen sent us and she's beautiful. We can't wait to see all of them, Dawson." I smiled at the thought of Dawson's daughters and Dawson as a father, as a husband. "Who'd have thought the three of us would end up like this, huh?" The three of us laughed together.  
  
"Hey, do you guys remember that time when we went sledding out at the Yacht Club golf course and we bumped into those older kids and Pacey got them so mad that they chased us all the way back to my house?" I said.  
  
"It wasn't just my fault," Pacey defended himself. "Dawson was the one who pretended to take their money."  
  
"That's right," Joey said. "I forgot about that part."  
  
"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure they chased us because Pacey called the biggest one a 'smelly, fat old dork,'" Dawson laughed.  
  
Joey smiled. "You guys always did know how to cause trouble."  
  
"But we always had fun too," Dawson said. "Maybe this summer we'll be able to have some of that old fun all over again."  
  
"That'd be good, really good."  
  
"Well, Jo, I just wanted to call and say 'good luck' and to remind Pacey to call us after the baby's born."  
  
"I will D," Pacey told him. "You guys are second on our list after Bessie and Bodie."  
  
"Gretchen and I, we love you guys and our thoughts are with you."  
  
"We love you guys too. Bye, Dawson."  
  
"I'm really glad we all ended up as friends," I told Pacey once we'd hung up with Dawson.  
  
"Me too," he agreed sliding over closer to me to put his arm around my shoulders.  
  
"I mean, I got everything that I wanted," I said looking up at him.  
  
"Oh really?" he said.  
  
"Yeah, I got Dawson as my best friend and you as the person by my side for the rest of my life."  
  
"I think it worked out pretty well for all of us," Pacey smiled.  
  
"Especially for me, though," I said leaning in to kiss him. I kissed him as if I were seventeen again and had just fallen in love with him. Slow, soft and very passionate. When I broke away, his eyes were still closed.  
  
"Whoa," he said after a few moments. "You shouldn't do that to me when I can't make love to you," he said reaching to pull me closer to him. I laughed.  
  
"After this baby is born, you'll probably never want me again."  
  
"I'd have to be crazy," he said leaning in to kiss me again.  
  
"I'm going to take a shower," I told him when he finished kissing me. "I'm feeling tired and I want to get ready for bed."  
  
"Okay," he said helping me up from the couch and kissing me again. "I'll be there in a little bit. I just wanna watch the news."  
  
I stood before my bureau and stared at myself in the mirror. "You look so fat and so old," I said out loud to myself then smiled. I didn't care, really, because more than fat and old, I was happy.  
  
I opened the top drawer of my bureau and removed a tiny box which held my engagement ring and wedding band. I'd been unable to wear them during the last 2 months of my pregnancy because my hands were so bloated. I opened the box to look at them. My diamond was so beautiful, so simple and so beautiful. I would never forget the day that Pacey gave it to me. It had been the most amazing moment in my life. Pacey had just finished school, a year after I had and we were living together in our apartment in Boston. We were getting ready to go to dinner with his parents, who had come to Boston for the graduation ceremony. I rushed out of our bedroom with my jacket and purse in hand, knowing that I was making us late and found Pacey sitting patiently on the sofa.  
  
"Aren't we late?" I asked confused.  
  
He glanced at his watch. "Probably, but it's okay, I want to talk to you before we go. Come here and sit down."  
  
"Pacey, your parents are waiting. They'll flip."  
  
Next thing I knew he was on his knee and there were tears in his eyes. I couldn't breath for a moment as I realized what he was doing.  
  
"Now that I have my life together," he began. "I want to start to share it with you. You've put up with so much from me, you've been so patient while I did what I had to do and I don't think I can ever thank you enough for that."  
  
"Oh, Pacey," I cried. "I can't believe..."  
  
He smiled and put his finger to my lips. "It's my turn. Let me do this." I took a deep breath and listened while he spoke. "Josephine Potter, I love you with all my heart, I always have and I'd be so honored if you'd be my wife."  
  
Tears were spilling down my face as he removed the ring from his pocket and placed it on my finger. I remember thinking that he knew me so well. The ring was so "me," so perfectly simple and beautiful.  
  
"It's...it's so beautiful." I leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. "Yes," I said in a shaky nervous voice as I backed out of our kiss. "I can't think of anything I'd like better than to marry you."  
  
He smiled an excited, toothy grin as I began kissing him again. I closed the box holding my rings and thought it wouldn't be much longer before I could wear them again. I was glad of that. Very glad. I grabbed a towel from the linen closet and headed to the bathroom. I turned the shower on and began to undress. Suddenly a strange feeling came over me and as I looked towards the bathroom floor I realized my water had broken. My heart began pounding in my chest and although I tried to remain calm when I called for Pacey his name came out sounding like a scream. 


	3. Part 2

PART 2  
  
Pacey  
  
Ryan Pacey Witter was born 13 hours later, at 7 AM on June 25, 2010. He weighed 7 pounds, 13 ounces, had blue eyes and no sign of hair at birth.  
  
As I sat in a chair beside my sleeping wife, I couldn't help but admire her. She'd been so brave and so strong while giving birth to our son. I felt so helpless, unable to take her pain away and do anything more than hold her hand, talk to her and help her with the breathing techniques we'd learned in class. I'd been watching her sleep for about an hour now, it had been only 3 hours since our son was born. I knew at any moment the nurse would come to wake Joey so that she could give her first try at breast feeding. I hated for her to be awakened from such a deep sleep, I knew she was tired before she even went into labor.  
  
With the low click of the door, the nurse entered wheeling the bassinet with the baby inside. I stood and moved quietly across the room to greet my son. The nurse smiled at me.  
  
"Why don't you go ahead and pick him up. I'll be back in a minute to get your wife ready for a feeding." She said this in a soft voice, almost a whisper.  
  
With a smile on my face I leaned down to pick up my son. I felt a little nervous. I was so new at this and so inexperienced when it came to babies. As I turned around, I saw that Joey had been watching me the whole time. I smiled at her.  
  
"I'm pretty good at this, huh?"  
  
"Just like I knew you would be."  
  
"How'd you sleep?"  
  
"Really good, but I'm still pretty tired."  
  
"Well, you've been through a lot," I said taking a seat beside her on the bed.  
  
"He's gorgeous," she said softly as she peered over the blanket the baby was all wrapped up in. "Just like his Dad."  
  
"Can you believe this?" I whispered. "I mean, can you really believe this?"  
  
"I know," she said resting her head on my shoulder. "It's really something."  
  
"The nurse is coming back soon to show you how to feed him," I told her. She nodded.  
  
"Did you call Bessie?"  
  
"Yeah, she said she'll come by tomorrow after you've had a chance to rest a little bit. And Dawson and Gretchen send their love. They want pictures."  
  
"And your parents?" She asked cautiously.  
  
I sighed. "No but I will. I just want some time to enjoy this before they come around and find a way to ruin it like they always do."  
  
I always had such a hard time when it came to my parents. It was easy for me to say I hated them but I didn't, really. I just hated the way they made me feel as though I was worthless and doomed for failure. I hated the way they never believed in me or had dreams for me the way they had for Gretchen or Doug. But I did love them; they were my parents. And I certainly understood Joey's point of view on the subject: at least they were alive and in my life instead of behind bars.  
  
"I think Ryan here would really like to know his grandparents," Joey whispered softly as she touched Ryan's tiny fingers. "They're the only ones he's ever going to have." She looked up at me with nervous eyes.  
  
"I know, I know. You're right. It's just that..."  
  
"I know too," she cut me off. "I know you're scared and I know you don't want our children to ever feel anything but love in their lives but, Pace, it's not like he's moving in with them. And it's not like he'll even be spending a whole lot of time with them. He just needs to know them; they need to know him. We have so little family."  
  
I sighed. She knew me so well. She could practically read my mind. It was one of my favorite and least favorite things about her. "I'll call them while you're feeding him." I finally agreed.  
  
"Thank you," she whispered as she kissed me softly on the cheek. "Ryan thanks you too."  
  
"Yeah, well let me be the first to warn you, Ryan, that you have no idea what you're getting yourself into." I whispered to my son. Joey chuckled softly and wrapped her arm around my back.  
  
"This whole Dad thing looks real good on you," she told me.  
  
"Yeah?" I asked with a toothy grin.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Thanks," I whispered softly as I leaned over to kiss her.  
  
We didn't hear the nurse enter the room again even though she'd knocked first. She cleared her throat before we ended our kiss and looked at her.  
  
"Sorry to disturb the new family," the nurse beamed. "But it's time for Ryan and Mom to try feeding." She reached out to take the baby from me.  
  
Once Ryan was safely in the nurse's arms, I turned to kiss Joey again. "I'm just gonna go make that phone call." I touched her cheek lightly as she nodded at me.  
  
I stood outside the door to Joey's room and took a deep breath, then headed toward the pay phone I'd already become familiar with. Standing in front of the phone I dug through my pocket for change. I chuckled to myself at the thought of calling them collect. They'd love that. It rang twice before my mother's high-pitched voice pierced my ear.  
  
"Hi, Ma, it's me, Pacey."  
  
"Pacey, oh my, Pacey. How are you? Is everything alright?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to tell you that Joey had the baby." I could hear her crying now and I rolled my eyes. "Ma, you still there?"  
  
"Oh, Pacey, that's...that's so wonderful. My little boy is a father. Hold on, let me get your father..."  
  
"No, Ma, I can't..." I sighed, it was too late, I could hear her calling to him in the background. There were some loud noises and then my father's voice boomed through the phone.  
  
"Son, congratulations." To my surprise, my father sounded genuinely happy.  
  
"Yeah, thanks, Dad."  
  
"So, your mother didn't tell me, is it a boy or a girl?"  
  
"We didn't get around to that but it's a boy. We named him Ryan Pacey Witter."  
  
"That's a nice name, son, a real nice name." I swore I heard my father's voice crack but knew it was impossible. Before I knew it, my mother was back on the phone again.  
  
"We're both so happy for you, honey. And how is Joey, is she doing okay?"  
  
"Oh yeah, she's fine. She's real strong. We're both just real happy right now and, uh, we both would like you and Dad to meet your grandson." I heard her gasp and then whisper to my father. It made me smile to hear them so excited about my life. "You should stop by tomorrow if you have some time," I continued.  
  
"Definitely, yes, we'll be there," she told me with a teary voice. "Do you or Joey need anything?"  
  
"No, no, we don't need anything. But Ma, could you tell Doug and Kerry the good news? Gretchen already knows."  
  
"I'll do that, Pacey. And we'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah, bye, Ma."  
  
I hung up and went to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee. I was finally feeling tired after being awake for an entire two days and knew that some caffeine would help. I figured Joey would probably need some more time feeding the baby so I drank my coffee in the cafeteria.  
  
I was pleased that I'd managed to have a pretty decent conversation with my parents. No fighting, no insults, no disappointment. I thought I may have even detected some sort of pride in my father's voice and definite happiness. I actually looked forward to seeing them the next day. I shook my head as that thought registered in my mind. I spent so much time avoiding my family. Living for a year with Doug and then for a year with Gretchen in the beautiful beach house we'd shared. Before all of that, I spent as little time as possible at home. I was used to being the butt of all the family jokes and the black sheep, expected only to disappoint and do the wrong thing.  
  
I took my last sip of coffee and thought that maybe things were finally changing. Maybe they'd moved past that and were ready to be my parents. I shrugged my shoulders and headed for the elevator to take me back to my wife and son.  
  
I exited the elevator onto the maternity ward and noticed for the first time how quiet it was. I smiled at some of the nurses who had been especially kind to Joey and I. I entered the room quietly and noticed Joey was asleep again. The baby was back in his bassinet asleep as well. I tiptoed my way over to the little couch in the room and stretched out, feeling comfortable and relaxed for the first time in two days. I glanced at my watch, it read 3:14 pm. Tomorrow's going to be a busy day, I thought to myself. Better get some sleep while you can.  
  
*****  
  
I felt as though I was being dragged down the road by a moving car as I jolted out of sleep to the sound of my newborn son crying. I lifted my heavy head and surveyed the room before making my way to the bassinet to pick him up.  
  
"Shh, shh..." I began as I turned to Joey who was also awake. "I guess this is how it's gonna be from now on," I said. I laughed joyously as I bounced lightly up and down trying to calm the baby, not disappointed at all that my fatherly duties were seriously beginning.  
  
"Oh, God," Joey said softly as she sank back down against her pillows. She looked as though she was in pain.  
  
"You okay, hon?" I asked her.  
  
She dismissed my concerns by shaking her head and waving her hand at me. Then she picked up the buzzer to get the nurse.  
  
"I think he wants to eat," I told her a little nervously when I wasn't able to stop the crying.  
  
"Just wait until the nurse comes to give me something for the pain, then I'll feed him," she said, the pain echoing in her tone of voice."  
  
I sat on the edge of the bed beside her. To my surprise, she turned away from me and curled up in the fetal position. I knew she had a very low tolerance for pain but she always sought comfort with me, never away from me.  
  
"Joey?"  
  
"Pacey, please," she spat at me. "I'm just in some pain here. Please don't talk anymore and make him stop crying."  
  
I stood again, with the baby in my arms and began swaying back and forth. "C'mon, Ryan, shh, shhh, shh, shhh."  
  
Silence finally fell across the small hospital room and I swore I heard Joey let out a sigh of relief. I continued rocking the baby back and forth when the nurse, Kim, entered.  
  
"Hi Joey," she said in a chirpy voice. "Oh, you feeling some pain?" she asked noticing Joey's fetal positioning and then glancing at me with a reassuring smile. "Let me go get you some Tylenol. I'll be right back."  
  
Kim returned quickly and I watched as she helped Joey sit up in bed and handed her a paper cup full of water to help her swallow the pills. Kim smoothed Joey's hair down for her and gently felt her forehead for a fever.  
  
"You feel up to eating, honey?" Kim asked Joey. "Dinner's coming soon."  
  
Joey only shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself. I yearned to hand the baby to the nurse and put my own arms around Joey but I knew my responsibilities now and I gathered that Joey didn't want me near her right then anyway.  
  
"Okay, well why don't we try feeding the baby again. It's been two hours since the last feeding," Kim said glancing at her watch, "and he'll be getting fussy again any minute."  
  
I saw a look of sheer terror in Joey's eyes at the mention of feeding the baby. I wanted to ask her if she was okay again but I didn't. Kim motioned to me that I should pass the baby over to Joey. I shuffled over to the bedside as Joey slowly and apprehensively put her arms out to receive Ryan. I smiled and searched her face for eye contact but got none. I swore Joey was on the verge of tears as she took the baby in her arms.  
  
An hour later I sat outside Joey's room in a comfortable armchair. The baby had been returned to the nursery for a couple of hours so that Joey could sleep. Kim encouraged me to sleep too but I couldn't clear my head long enough to fall asleep. Joey's behavior was scaring me. I knew it had to be her hormones-post-partum depression-the doctors told us all about it before she gave birth. I knew I wasn't supposed to take it personally, but I did.  
  
I started down the hall for the pay phone again. I punched in my calling card number and dialed the familiar phone number.  
  
"Hello?" my sister's voice came through the phone and I thought I might cry at the sound of it.  
  
"Gretch, it's me Pacey."  
  
"Little brother," she said happily. "Or should I say, new Dad? How's it going?"  
  
"Joey's freaking out, I think, and it's making me freak out and I just needed to talk to someone who's got some experience with this..." my voice trailed off.  
  
"Oh," Gretchen said sounding surprised. "You do know you're supposed to be happy?"  
  
"I am. I'm just worried about Joey."  
  
"She'll be fine. She's just nervous and in a lot of pain. There are a whole lot of emotions involved in having a baby. Especially your first one. She's just gotta figure some stuff out and then she'll be fine."  
  
I let out a deep breath. "I'm not used to us figuring things out separately."  
  
"Well, get used to it," Gretchen said in her forceful tone of voice that I knew so well. "Believe it or not, Pace, this is not about you. It's hard for her in a way you won't ever understand unless you physically have a baby."  
  
"Okay, okay. So is there anything that I can do?"  
  
"Exactly what she tells you to do. If she says leave her alone, then leave her alone."  
  
"So, were you this hard on Dawson?"  
  
"I'm sure he'd tell you I was," she chuckled. "We all are, though," she said seriously, "it's a confusing time in a woman's life."  
  
"I'm taking your word on this, that Joey is going to be okay," I told her.  
  
"She will be." She paused for a second before continuing. "So, he's beautiful, isn't he?"  
  
I smiled. "He's unbelievable. I still don't really believe that he's real."  
  
"I can't wait to see him. I'm looking forward to this little reunion you crazy kids are planning," she said sarcastically referring, the way she always did, to the fact that she was a few years older than the rest of our group.  
  
"I called Mom and Dad," I told her. The connection was quiet as Gretchen registered what I said. "Joey really wanted me to. She says, we have so little family that it's important for Ryan to know them," I continued.  
  
"I think that's great," she said, a hint of nostalgia in her voice. "And, I'm proud of you for doing that."  
  
"It wasn't so bad, actually. I mean, they sounded happy and excited. And you should've heard Mom when I asked her to come and see us. She was crying."  
  
"Well, despite their constantly idiotic behavior, you know they always loved you. You're their son and I think you're going to learn really quickly what that means and how important it is."  
  
I smiled at my sister's words. "Well, I should probably get back," I told her.  
  
"I'm glad you called, Pace. And don't worry, everything will be okay. I promise you."  
  
"Thanks, Gretchen."  
  
I hung up the phone and headed back down the hall for Joey's room. I pushed the door open slowly and peeked inside. Joey was awake and I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was in her thinking mode.  
  
"Hey," I whispered to her.  
  
She turned and greeted me with a smile then motioned with her hand for me to come inside. I was secretly happy to have a moment alone with her and went quickly to her. She moved a little to make room for me and I joined her on the bed putting my arm around her. She nestled her head on my chest.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked patting her lightly on the shoulder. I tried to control my voice so I didn't sound too serious or too concerned but I knew she wouldn't buy it.  
  
"I'll be okay," she said softly. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. This is just really overwhelming."  
  
"Well, you're not in this alone, Jo."  
  
"I know," she said tightening her grip around me. "You wanna take over some of the breast feeding shifts then," she joked.  
  
"It's horrible?" I asked her.  
  
"Just hurts," she sighed.  
  
"You don't have to breast feed."  
  
"I know but I want to. Everything I read said it was the best way for a mother and child to bond. And it's healthier for him. I just need to get used to it. That's all."  
  
"I love you," I told her as I rested my cheek on top of her head.  
  
"Can you do something for me?" she asked in a teary voice.  
  
"Anything."  
  
"Call Bessie. Tell her to come now."  
  
"Okay," I said. I felt the tension leave her body as I agreed to her request and it made me never want to leave her side. I understood, in that moment, that Joey needed her "mother" now more than ever.  
  
"Tell her just her for today. She can bring Alex and Sammy tomorrow."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I love you too," she said letting go of me and reaching up to kiss me.  
  
Afterwards I settled into hugging her. It was one of my favorite things, to hug her. It made me feel safe and loved and like nothing else in the world mattered. I felt as though I needed to say something to her in this moment, something that would make her less afraid and more confident. But nothing seemed right or appropriate.  
  
"You give the best hugs," I finally told her.  
  
She laughed and turned her head to kiss me on the neck.  
  
"We're going to be fine, you know," I said more seriously. "We've always been good at doing the hard things together."  
  
"You're right," she said pulling away from me. "I know you're right." 


	4. Part 3

PART 3  
  
1 Joey  
  
Bessie sat behind me brushing my hair and pulling it back out of my face.  
  
"Thanks for coming, Bess," I said.  
  
"No problem." Bessie tapped my shoulder lightly with the hairbrush she'd been using. "All done with your hair."  
  
"It feels so good to have taken a shower," I said making myself comfortable in the bed again.  
  
"You feeling okay? You need anymore Tylenol?"  
  
"I feel good actually."  
  
Bessie nodded as she took a seat on the couch. "So, what's up?" she finally asked me.  
  
I took a deep breath. "I'm scared and overwhelmed. I don't know if I can do this. I mean, I was so excited to have a baby that I failed to remember that it was actually going to be a difficult thing."  
  
Bessie laughed a little before joining me on the bed. "I think everyone feels that way in the beginning. You spend nine months being excited and happy and then you have a baby who continually cries and constantly needs your attention. It's a lot to digest. Give yourself some time."  
  
"But Bessie," I said leaning forward and grabbing her hand. "I don't think I can do this."  
  
"First of all, Joey, you have no choice," she said in her big sister tone of voice. "And secondly," she said more seriously looking me straight in the eyes, "I know you can do this. You are one of the strongest and most loving people I know. You're going to be a phenomenal mother."  
  
"If that's true, it's because I learned it from you," I said softly.  
  
Bessie inhaled a deep breath and held her hand to her chest. I could tell she was about to cry so I wrapped my arms around the beautiful and strong woman who'd raised me.  
  
"I miss Mom," I said letting go of her after awhile.  
  
"Me too," she said with a sad smile. "You know, when I first had Alexander I used to talk out loud to Mom everyday. And I really believed she could hear me, that she could answer my questions and give me advice. I think I was just so afraid of doing something wrong because I hadn't had enough time to learn what was right from Mom. But after awhile I realized that as long as I was doing what my heart told me to do, Mom was right there with me."  
  
"You always said Mom was in our hearts," I smiled and we sat quietly for a few minutes just thinking about our mother. "I'm really glad you came, Bess. You've always been the best at talking some sense into me. Even better than Pacey."  
  
Bessie smiled. "He was so worried about you, you know? You're really awfully lucky to have him and he's gonna make such a great Dad."  
  
"I know, Ryan and I are both very lucky to have him."  
  
"So, share this experience with him, let him in." Bessie said pointing towards my heart. "I have to go home and take care of my family," she said standing up and then turning quickly to face me again. "Mom would be so proud of you," she said pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I'm so proud of you."  
  
I took a deep breath and averted my eyes to the ground. "Mom would be blown away by you," I said softly. "Everyday we both thank you for the woman you've made me into. I love you, Bess," I embraced my sister.  
  
I could feel Bessie trembling with tears as I held her, so I held tighter. For years I had waited for the courage to be able to say such things to my sister, to tell my sister how much I appreciated all that she had done for me.  
  
When Bessie left it was around 8 o'clock and Kim brought Ryan back to the room. I was still feeling uneasy and pretty nervous but having Pacey in the room made me feel a lot more comfortable. He had the camera now and was taking tons of pictures.  
  
"I can't believe I'm letting you take pictures of me looking like this," I said rolling my eyes.  
  
"You look beautiful," he said as he focused in on Ryan and I for another picture.  
  
"We're not going to have any pictures of you and Ryan," I told him.  
  
"Don't worry, I bought eight rolls of film."  
  
"God," I rolled my eyes again.  
  
"Here," he said putting the camera down on the bed and taking the baby carefully from me. "Take a few of me holding him if that'll shut you up."  
  
I smiled to myself as I watched Pacey hold our son. He looked so happy, his whole face lit up with pride and happiness. I started snapping some shots and as I took them I couldn't help but anticipate seeing them when they were developed. Something told me that even with all the photo albums I'd gotten as gifts at the shower Bessie had thrown for me last month, there wouldn't be enough to hold all the pictures we'd take. I smiled as the idea to paint a portrait of my husband and my son came to mind. My husband and my son. That sounded so nice, even in my head.  
  
"So, did you have a good talk with Bessie?" Pacey asked me interrupting my train of thought.  
  
"Yeah," I nodded putting the camera down on the bed again. "She made me feel a lot better and she assured me that I am not insane for being a little nervous about all of this. Thanks for calling her."  
  
"No problem."  
  
"Speaking of calls," I said remembering, "how'd it go with your parents?"  
  
He chuckled. "You know, believe it or not, it went pretty well. They're coming tomorrow."  
  
I smiled happily at him. "You sound excited."  
  
"I am," he said shrugging his shoulders with a smile on his face.  
  
"Wow." The look of joy on Pacey's face was breathtaking in a way, mostly because I'd never seen him excited to spend time with his parents in all the years I'd known him. "Who knew?" I said tilting my head to the side a little bit. "Pacey Witter excited to see his own parents."  
  
He gently passed the baby back to me then took a seat at the end of the bed. "It's just, well, it's like you said. It's important that he knows them," he said pointing towards the baby, "and it's important that I know them. Family is really important and I know I'm never gonna have with them what you had with your Mom or what you have with Bessie. But I have the chance to know them and someday, they'll be gone. I don't want to regret that I didn't know them."  
  
"I think that's really great, Pace," I smiled at him.  
  
"Yeah, well," he said leaning back on his elbows. "I guess that's what you've been trying to tell me for years now and I just never got it."  
  
"It took the miracle of life for you to understand the importance of family," I said glancing down at the beautiful baby in my arms. I heard Pacey chuckle then and I looked up at him. "What?"  
  
"Did you just say 'miracle of life'?" He looked so amused and I suddenly felt a little embarrassed.  
  
"Yeah. So?" I smirked.  
  
He turned on his side, shook his head with laughter and covered his eyes with his hand. "What has happened to us?" he said resting his head on my legs.  
  
I reached down and rubbed his head lightly. "We're parents now. Sappiness is a prerequisite," I told him.  
  
"So, it's the kid's fault," he said jokingly. He sat up quickly and crawled up the bed to be closer to Ryan and I. He kissed me on the mouth then looked down at our son. He smiled, glanced at me then back at the baby. "It's okay, Ryan, we forgive you," he said in a sweet, soft voice as he reached down to kiss the baby's head. 


	5. Part 4

PART 4  
  
1 Pacey  
  
Six weeks later Joey and I were used to the baby and to the daily routine of taking care of him. I tried to do as much as I could to help although there wasn't much I could do since she had to be the one to feed him every two or three hours. Instead, I'd do all of the laundry, make the meals, clean up around the house and whatever else I could find to do.  
  
I always made sure to get up with Joey during the night and sit with her while she fed him. It made me feel as though I was helping out even though I really couldn't. And, I knew she appreciated the company. We were both exhausted all of the time but we loved it. We didn't care.  
  
I finished loading up the dishwasher, added the soap and then turned it on before entering the nursery where Joey was feeding the baby in preparation for his afternoon nap. As I entered, she stood up from the rocking chair my parents had gotten for us a week after Ryan was born and started towards his bassinet. I smiled at her as I reached for the yellow and white quilt my mother had made for the baby.  
  
My parents had surprised me very much when they showed up at the hospital the day after Ryan was born and brought a nicely wrapped gift. I was speechless when I opened the box to find one of my mother's signature homemade knitted quilts. I smiled as I thought of the way my mother had asked Joey so concerned, "Is yellow okay? I wanted to get a head start and since we didn't know the sex..."  
  
And, of course, Joey had immediately quelled my mother's concern by saying, "It's beautiful. It will look perfect in the nursery. Thank you so much."  
  
And, she was right, it did look perfect in the nursery. It looked even more perfect as I placed it lightly over my son's tiny little body. I rubbed my thumb lightly over Ryan's cheek. He was so adorable, his skin was still red and wrinkly. I reached for his tiny hand and I loved the way he always wrapped his fingers around my index finger whenever I did that. After that I took Joey's hand and led her out of the room. She flipped the switch on the baby monitor on the way out.  
  
"I should probably get going," I told Joey as I wrapped my arms around her waist in the living room. I had to leave for the airport to pick up Dawson, Gretchen and the kids.  
  
"I wish I could come," she said as she rested her head on my shoulder. "I can't wait to see everyone."  
  
Dawson and Gretchen were going to be the first to arrive. Jack and Andie were both flying in to Boston that day and Jen was picking them up. The next day all of them would be driving down to Capeside from Boston.  
  
"I guess your little reunion has finally come to life," I teased her.  
  
"You just wait," she said pulling away from me and slapping me playfully on the chest. "Everyone is going to have so much fun, you'll all be thanking me."  
  
"I don't doubt it," I said grabbing my keys from the table behind the couch where I always left them. "I'll be back soon," I told her.  
  
"You're dropping them at the Leery's before you come home, right?" she asked me through a yawn as she stretched out on the couch.  
  
"Yeah and then they're coming over for dinner tonight," I reminded her.  
  
She nodded with closed eyes. She was practically asleep already. I moved the baby monitor closer to her so she'd hear if the baby woke up.  
  
"Get some sleep, Jo," I said leaning down to kiss her forehead then heading out the back door.  
  
****  
  
I decided to park the car at the airport even though I knew it would probably cost an arm and a leg. I didn't anticipate the Leery's being able to quickly exit the airport with three kids and god knows how many bags. I was there about five minutes before their plane from Los Angeles was supposed to arrive and when I checked the computer screen I saw that their plane was on time.  
  
In a rush of excitement at seeing Dawson, my sister and my nieces, I picked up the pace and moved quickly towards the gate where they'd be getting off the plane. People were already pouring out of the gate when I arrived so I stood close by and waited, searching the crowd for those familiar faces.  
  
I saw them walking up the gate; Dawson carrying a bag over one shoulder, a bag in his hand and the baby asleep on his other shoulder. Gretchen was beside him holding their other two daughter's hands. They looked tired and worn out. I imagined the flight must seem even longer when you have three little kids to take care of. When they saw me, smiles broke out across both of their faces.  
  
Gretchen grabbed me into a huge hug and it surprised me. I laughed as I hugged her back, giving Dawson a "what-the-heck" look over her shoulder. He just shrugged his shoulders and laughed.  
  
"It's so good to see you," she said finally letting go of me. That's when I noticed she was crying and I tilted my head to the side as though to ask her what's wrong. She smiled and wiped at her face. "I'm just glad to see you and to be home," she said hugging me again.  
  
Truth be told, I was glad to see her too. She had always been my favorite sibling. The one I related to most and could talk to most. It was hard to have her living so far away.  
  
She re-introduced me to Isabella and Kristina since it had been three years since they'd seen me and at the time they'd been too young to even remember seeing me. They looked so much like her as they turned away from me, burying their faces in their mother's legs to hide from me.  
  
I shook Dawson's hand. "This is Ashley who, unfortunately for us, only fell asleep at the end of the flight after she spent the first three hours crying."  
  
"Ouch," I laughed.  
  
"Yeah, you should've seen all the dirty looks we got."  
  
"I'm just glad she's quiet now," Gretchen said examining her daughter carefully as she slept on Dawson's shoulder.  
  
"Thanks for coming to pick us up, Pace," Dawson said carefully placing the two bags he was carrying on the ground. "My parents said to say thanks too. They have some sort of recital of Lily's to go to and it  
  
would've been hard for them to get here."  
  
"Sure, no problem."  
  
"Hey, where's Joey?" Gretchen asked as she hoisted Kristina up on her hip. I smiled as Kristina nestled her head in the crook of Gretchen's neck and Gretchen rolled her eyes.  
  
"She really wanted to come but the baby was sleeping and she was on the verge of falling asleep herself as I was leaving."  
  
"Well, we'll see her tonight," Dawson said.  
  
"Definitely," I told him. "So, should we go get your bags?"  
  
"Yes, good idea," Dawson said. "Everybody here could use a nap," he said reaching down to get the carry-on bags.  
  
"Let me take those," I told him. "You've got enough to carry."  
  
"Thanks," he smiled.  
  
As we all headed toward the baggage claim, I was happy to have them home. Joey was right. We'd all be thanking her for getting us back together again. It had been a long time. Too long. 


	6. Part 5

PART 5  
  
Joey  
  
"Oh my god, look at these beautiful children," I said as Dawson and Gretchen filed their family inside our house.  
  
I hugged Gretchen warmly. "You look so great," I told her.  
  
"You look fabulous. Are you sure you just had a baby six weeks ago?" She asked with a laugh.  
  
She placed her hands on the heads of the two little girls hugging her legs just below us. "Isabella, Kristina, this is your Aunt Joey. You both met her a very long time ago. You probably don't remember."  
  
I knelt down so that I was at eye level with the little girls. "Hi girls," I said with a smile. They just stared at me awkwardly while grasping their mother tightly for protection.  
  
"Don't even try it with those two," Pacey chimed in. "They're really shy," he said kneeling down to tease them. He started tickling them and they laughed before running to Dawson for more protection.  
  
I stood and saw Dawson holding their youngest daughter who was the spitting image of Dawson himself. He was reaching down with his free hand, pretending to protect his other two daughters from Pacey. I smiled. It was so strange and so sweet seeing Dawson as a father. In my mind, it was always hard for me to imagine Dawson being anything other than a fifteen- year old boy.  
  
I walked over and planted a kiss on his cheek and hugged him sort of strangely because he was still holding the baby. "It's so good to see you, Dawson," I told him.  
  
"You too, Joey," he smiled at me. "You haven't met Ashley yet, have you?" he said smiling at his little girl.  
  
"This one," Gretchen said with a roll of the eyes. "She is Daddy's girl, one hundred percent."  
  
I laughed. "She looks just like you, Dawson."  
  
"It's something, isn't it?" Dawson smiled.  
  
I felt Pacey's arm around me and I turned my head to smile up at him. I could tell he was enjoying this just as much as I was, having his family home again.  
  
"So, where is my nephew?" Gretchen asked us.  
  
"Oh, he's sleeping," I said glancing at my watch. "He should be up any minute though."  
  
"Can I sneak a peek?" she begged.  
  
Pacey laughed. "C'mon," he said gesturing for her to follow him.  
  
"This is a really great house," Dawson said once Pacey and Gretchen were out of the room.  
  
"Oh, that's right. You've never been here before."  
  
"It's been three years," Dawson said seeming to disbelieve it had been that long.  
  
"We were still living in Boston the last time we saw you," I said remembering. "Well, Pacey will have to give you guys the tour a little later on. He's a much better tour guide than I am."  
  
Dawson smiled. "So, how are you doing? Are you enjoying being a Mom?"  
  
A happy smile took control of my face as I spoke. "I love it. For awhile there I thought I was going to hate it but now, it's…it's just….it's the best thing in the world."  
  
He smiled down at all of his children who were still flocking to him for protection. "It is pretty great," he said.  
  
"How come you're all being so shy?" I said to the girls.  
  
"They'll come around. It always takes them a little while." He smiled. "Gretchen says that's my fault. That I baby them to much."  
  
I laughed. "Pacey's going to be the same way. Every time Ryan cries, he picks him up immediately. I keep telling him that he can't do that forever or we're going to have one spoiled child on our hands."  
  
"Give me a break," Pacey joked as he and Gretchen entered the room again. "He's six weeks old!"  
  
"Joey," Gretchen said placing her hand on my arm. "That baby is so gorgeous." I could tell she had been crying and it made me feel as though I could cry.  
  
"Dawson," Pacey said placing his hand firmly on Dawson's shoulder. "What is with your wife? She's crying far too much for a Witter."  
  
"Oh, Pacey," I said creasing my brow at him. "Leave her alone."  
  
"Well, you know what they say about pregnant women," Dawson said putting Ashley down on the ground. "They're usually pretty emotional."  
  
I glanced between Dawson and Gretchen for a few seconds before enveloping Gretchen into a hug. "Oh, my god, congratulations!"  
  
"Four kids?" Pacey joked. "Are you guys nuts?" Pacey said shaking Dawson's hand then hugging him. "Congratulations!"  
  
"We're hoping for a boy this time," Dawson told us as I hugged him.  
  
"And he and Ryan would be so close in age," I said excitedly. "How far along are you, Gretchen?"  
  
"Five months," she said with a beaming smile on her face.  
  
"I can't even tell," I said approaching her again to get a better look.  
  
"Isn't she beautiful?" Dawson said putting his arm around Gretchen and kissing her lightly on the cheek. I smiled giddily at the sight of them, pleased that everything had turned out so perfectly.  
  
****  
  
"I can't believe she's pregnant," Pacey said as we lay in bed that night.  
  
"Why?" I asked.  
  
"Four kids," he said. "That's a lot of work."  
  
"You wouldn't want four?"  
  
"Well, I mean, I don't know…" he stumbled nervously over his words.  
  
I laughed.  
  
"I guess it's just that I see how hard it is having one kid and I can't imagine having three more," he explained. "I mean, someday I suppose I'll want that but now…I think we have enough for right now."  
  
"I know what you mean. I feel the same way."  
  
I heard him sigh and it made me love him a little bit more in that moment. I snuggled closer to him then.  
  
"I'm really glad you came and got me in Miami," he said with a soft laugh.  
  
"Huh?" I said sitting up on my elbow and squinting through the darkness to look at him.  
  
"Ten years ago," he said. "Surely, you can't have forgotten it. It was one of the most memorable occasions in my life."  
  
I laughed as I realized what he was talking about. "What made you think of that?"  
  
"I think about it a lot."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Well, yeah," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It's the reason we're together today."  
  
"You think so?" I asked in a disbelieving tone.  
  
"Yes, I think so," he said sitting up on his elbow so that we were eye to eye. "I was pretty stubborn back then."  
  
"Back then?" I teased him.  
  
"Oh, ha ha."  
  
I leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. "I wasn't very good at showing you that I loved you back then and you just needed me to show you. Once I did, well, then everything worked out."  
  
"I'm very glad that it did," he said as I kissed him again.  
  
"Me too."  
  
"Because I can't imagine myself being even half as happy as I am without you."  
  
"Aw, that's sweet," I said kissing him again.  
  
"You're the exact right person for me," he told me and I realized that he wanted to talk so I stopped trying to seduce him for a minute.  
  
"And you're the exact right person for me," I agreed.  
  
"I don't know if you know how much I appreciate you."  
  
"I think I do."  
  
"You're really patient with me," he told me. "You always have been, even back when we were kids and that always meant a lot to me because I never had that from anyone else."  
  
I smiled, a little embarrassed, because I could tell that he was trying to be serious and all I could think to say was a joke, which I knew wasn't appropriate.  
  
"And you take care of me really well which is something else you've always done even when we pretended like we hated each other."  
  
"We take care of each other," I told him.  
  
"Ever since you had the baby, I've been trying to find this perfect way to say thank you and I just couldn't come up with anything so I said nothing. But the thing is, I really thought that with you I had everything I could ever ask for or hope for. And then you gave me a child. I don't think I have to tell you how miraculous," he said with a little chuckle, "that is because I see that you feel that way too. I mean, we created a human life out of our love…."  
  
"It's amazing, isn't it?" I said understanding him suddenly.  
  
"'Thanks' sounds so lame but thanks, Joey, for giving me everything I ever wanted and more." Through the darkness, I saw he was crying a little bit.  
  
"Thank you too, Pacey," I said leaning in to kiss him, pushing him gently onto his back again. Nibbling on his neck I whispered, "I love you." He pulled me on top of him then and I concentrated on his face giving into the urge to touch him everywhere. 


	7. Part 6

PART 6 Pacey  
  
Gretchen and Dawson came over around noon the next day and we all waited for the anticipated arrival of the rest of the Capeside gang. The kids were in the living room watching a video which I was surprised kept them so occupied. But then I remembered that their father was Dawson and I wasn't so surprised anymore. He probably taught them all from the day they were born to appreciate the film medium, even something as bad as Barney.  
  
The four of us sat around the kitchen table snacking on chips and salsa and talking, catching up on all that we had missed in three years.  
  
"I called Mom and Dad this morning," Gretchen told me.  
  
"Did Mom mention the Witter family reunion?"  
  
"Huh?" Dawson asked with a worried look on his face.  
  
"Don't worry, Dawson," Joey laughed. "It won't be too bad." "Yeah, honey," Gretchen said grabbing his hand. "Mom and Dad have this whole thing planned out for this weekend. Doug and Kerry are going to be there, Pacey and Joey too. So, we have to go."  
  
"I can't believe I'm about to say this," I glanced at all three of them around the table, "but Ma and Dad have been pretty normal lately."  
  
I felt Joey's hand on my thigh and I looked over at her. "Yeah," she confirmed. "They came to the hospital after Ryan was born and they were really great. Your Mom made this gorgeous quilt for the baby," she told Gretchen.  
  
"And the real kicker," I chimed in. "They came and visited us a week after we were home from the hospital and they decided Joey needed a rocking chair to sit in while she feeds the baby and they went out and bought one, had it delivered the next day."  
  
Gretchen's mouth dropped open. "Wow."  
  
"It's about time Pacey got something from your parents," Dawson said.  
  
"Thank you, Dawson," I said putting my hand out to shake his hand. "I knew there was a reason why I always liked you."  
  
He grabbed my hand. "You're welcome."  
  
Joey and Gretchen laughed. "Well, then, I guess the Witter reunion doesn't have such a looming tendency for disaster this time around," Gretchen said. "Unless, of course, Dad still can't control his drinking."  
  
"He seems to have really mellowed out," I told her.  
  
"Hmmm," she said shrugging her shoulders. "That'd be real nice."  
  
Almost like clockwork we heard cars pulling into the driveway and the horn tooted. Joey stood up so quickly with an ecstatic look on her face. "They're here!" I swore I saw a skip in her step as she bolted for the back door to greet them.  
  
Dawson and Gretchen looked at me strangely.  
  
"She's excited to see Jen," I told them.  
  
"Joey excited to see Jen?" Dawson asked confused.  
  
"Stranger things have happened," I said heading outside to join Joey in greeting our guests.  
  
Joey was wrapped up in a big hug with Jack when I made it outside. She was already crying and mumbling about how happy she was to see everyone.  
  
"Pacey!" they all said in unison as they saw me coming towards them.  
  
"Hey guys!"  
  
I grabbed Jen in a hug and then shook her fiance, Tom's, hand. I knew him real well from our time living in Boston. "Jen, Joey here has been dying to see you," I told her with a sarcastic smile.  
  
"I know, she mauled me already." Jen laughed.  
  
"Andie!" I said excitedly as I reached down to hug her. She was one of my most favorite people in the world. Other than my sister, she was the one I was most excited to see. She'd always been a good friend to me.  
  
When I pulled away from her I saw she was crying too. She wiped her face and laughed. "Joey made me cry," she explained.  
  
"She has that affect on people," I laughed.  
  
"So, Pacey, this is my husband, Roberto," she said touching her husband's shoulder lightly. He was a very tall man, with dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes. He was very Italian looking. "Nice to meet you," I said shaking his hand. "I've heard so much about you. It's nice to put a face to all the stories."  
  
"I've heard a lot about you too," he said with a sincere smile. I was surprised that he spoke English so well, even though Andie had told us many times that he did.  
  
"Oh, and this is Marco," Andie said pointing down to the little boy standing in between she and Roberto.  
  
"Hey," I said kneeling down to greet him. "Nice to meet you Marco."  
  
He was the cutest little boy. He didn't look much like Andie but when he waved and smiled at me I knew that his personality was just like Andie's. He wasn't shy or embarrassed and he was a people person.  
  
"So where is the little Witter?" Andie asked excitedly.  
  
"He's inside sleeping. It's all he does, really. Sleep and eat."  
  
Roberto and Andie laughed. She absentmindedly slipped her arm through Roberto's and grabbed his hand. With that one gesture I could see that Andie was really, really happy and in love. And they were good for each other. Andie made a wise choice, staying in Italy.  
  
"I'm really glad you guys came," I said patting Roberto on the shoulder. "I gotta go over here and say hi to rest of the McPhee's."  
  
"Pacey," Jack said. "Your wife is a nut."  
  
I gave Jack a hug and laughed over his shoulder. "You don't know how much she has been looking forward to this."  
  
"You remember Tobey?" Jack asked me.  
  
"Of course," I said surprising Jack, Tobey and myself as I gave him a hug too.  
  
Joey started leading everyone inside the house after that. She was already carrying Marco in her arms talking to him about all the little girls that were inside just waiting to play. I smiled at the sight, suddenly wanting my son to grow up so I could see her with him.  
  
"This is great," I said to Jack and Tobey. "To have everyone here."  
  
"It is," Jack said. "It really is."  
  
"C'mon in," I told them. "Dawson and Gretchen are inside." Inside, Joey brought the baby out to meet everyone. He stayed asleep in her arms even with all the noise that was around him. It was one of my favorite things about babies, they could sleep through anything. Everyone flocked around Joey to see the baby. I smiled proudly as I watched my friends "ooh" and "aah" over my son.  
  
"He's so beautiful."  
  
"He looks just like Joey."  
  
"I think he looks like Pacey."  
  
"Look at how peaceful he's sleeping."  
  
"Look at those tiny fingers."  
  
From behind, I kissed Joey's cheek. She turned and smiled at me and I whispered, "You were right, this is really great." 


	8. Part 7

PART 7 Joey  
  
I was feeding the baby in the nursery when Jen came in. She hadn't realized anyone was inside and when she saw me she whispered that she was sorry and backed out.  
  
"Jen, you can come in," I called her back.  
  
"But doesn't he need the quiet to eat," she whispered back still standing in the doorway with her hand on the doorknob.  
  
"We're finished anyway," I said covering myself up and standing to put Ryan down in his bassinet.  
  
Jen and I stood over the bassinet watching him for a few moments. I reached over to turn the baby monitor on.  
  
"He's a beautiful baby, Joey," Jen whispered.  
  
I smiled. "Yeah, he's pretty great," I said taking her hand to lead her into the bedroom so we could speak without whispering. "Someday you'll have one of your very own, Ms. Lindley," I told her once we were both sitting Indian style on the bed.  
  
"Me?" She said bugging her eyes at me in disbelief. "A mother? No way. Uh uh."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I just don't think I'd be very good at it. My own mother wasn't very good at it and I'm thinking those kinds of things are probably hereditary."  
  
I laughed at her. "Oh, c'mon Jen. I think you'd make a great mother. Besides, I think it works the other way around. You'd probably be a great mother because your mother wasn't. You'd make sure your kids got everything you never had."  
  
Her face got serious as she spoke again. "You really think so?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Because Tom wants to have kids. I mean, he says he doesn't but he only says that because I keep saying I don't want to have them. But I know that he does and I'm just afraid that."  
  
"Jen," I cut her off, "I really, truly believe that you would make a great mother. And for the record, I don't know if anyone really believes they'd be good at it when the prospect of it becomes real. It's a scary thing. Life altering."  
  
"I'll bet you were a pro, though."  
  
I shook my head with laughter. "Just ask Pacey or Bessie about how much of a basket case I was."  
  
"And now?"  
  
"And now I love it. It is the thing in my life that I am most proud of."  
  
Jen nodded and looked down at the bed.  
  
"Just don't rule it out yet," I said supportively taking her hand.  
  
She looked up and smiled at me. "I've missed you, Joey."  
  
"I've missed you too, Jen. I don't have many good female friends around here."  
  
"Then again, you've never really been one to have female friends," Jen teased.  
  
I glared at her teasingly and she laughed. "Ah, there she is, the Jen Lindley I know and love. Bitchy as ever."  
  
"Nice to know things never change with me, huh?"  
  
"Yes, yes it is."  
  
"Well, then, here's a shocker for you," Jen said.  
  
I lifted one eyebrow in suspense.  
  
"I was wondering if you would be my maid of honor."  
  
I was speechless and shocked. But mostly honored. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I looked away from her.  
  
"Oh c'mon, tell me you're not crying," she pretended to yell at me. "Because if you're crying, I'll just take back the offer and go out there and ask Andie right now." She pretended to get up.  
  
I started laughing through tears and reached out to grab her in a hug. "You're such a jerk," I told her.  
  
"I should've known better than to ask a hormonal woman who just gave birth to be my maid of honor," she laughed. When I let her go I saw she had been crying too but I decided not to pick on her. I was too happy. "So, I'll take that as a yes?" she asked wiping at the corners of her eyes. "Of course," I said grabbing for the box of tissues on my night stand.  
  
"I'm having Grams and Jack walk me down the aisle," Jen laughed.  
  
"Awww, oh," I said starting to tear up again. "Sorry," I told her when I saw her glaring at me.  
  
"I was thinking about having the wedding at the yacht club but Grams insisted that we do everything at the house which is what I wanted to do all along.."  
  
"You just didn't want to put her out," I finished for her.  
  
She nodded. "But she's really into it. She's got a whole list started of everything we need to do."  
  
"That's good," I said reassuringly. "It gives her something to do."  
  
Jen looked at me seriously again. "How is she doing, Joey? I mean, you spend enough time with her to know if she's okay. Tell me seriously," she said grabbing my hands.  
  
"She's fine. She's healthy and strong and her mind is so sharp. She's just lonely. That's why I try to spend as much time with her as I can..." my voice trailed off and I looked down at the bed.  
  
"Which you won't be able to do as much anymore now that you have a baby to take care of," Jen said anticipating my thoughts. "She understands that, Joey."  
  
"I know," I looked up at her disappointed. "I still feel bad about it."  
  
"Listen, she'll probably be coming over here every other day bringing food for you to serve for dinner, doing your laundry or watching the baby so you can sleep."  
  
"That sounds nice," I said with a lift of my eyebrows.  
  
"Thanks for taking care of her while I'm not around. I really appreciate that," Jen said in a serious tone again.  
  
"I just visit her. It's nothing and I enjoy it just as much as she does."  
  
"Thanks anyway, though."  
  
"Sure," I said shrugging my shoulders.  
  
Jen took a deep breath trying to fight tears away. "It's weird, all of us back in Capeside. It seems like a million years ago you and I hated each other because we both wanted Dawson." I laughed. "I was such a bitch to you."  
  
"No kidding," she teased.  
  
"Now look at us."  
  
"Pathetic," she laughed, "isn't it?"  
  
"Totally," I said rolling my eyes.  
  
"We should probably get back out there to that cheesy reunion of yours," Jen laughed.  
  
"Yeah," I said getting up from the bed. "You never know what Pacey and Dawson have done to your poor Tom."  
  
We linked arms and left the bedroom laughing to join the rest of our friends. There were memories to relive, friendships to revisit, and lots of laughs to come. 


	9. Part 8

PART 8 Pacey  
  
I was out on the back porch, cooking the food on the grill. Gretchen with Ashley in her lap and Andie were sitting at the picnic table talking while all of the guys played an amateur game of soccer with the kids. Joey and Jen disappeared somewhere inside the house catching up on what I knew was much needed talking. I knew Joey had really missed spending time with Jen and it was the only thing she disliked about being back in Capeside. When we lived in Boston we were able to get together with Jen and Tom at least once a week.  
  
The sliding screen door opened up behind me and Joey and Jen came out onto the porch. Joey had the baby monitor in her hand and she plugged it into the outlet on the porch.  
  
"So where have you girls been?" I asked them.  
  
"She kidnapped me and forced me to engage in girl talk," Jen said pretending to be totally appalled.  
  
"Oh, you loved it," Joey said slapping her playfully on the arm.  
  
"Ow," Jen said rubbing the spot on her arm then leaning over the grill to see what I was making. "Mmm, looks good. But something is definitely wrong with this picture," she said scratching her head pretending to be thinking. "Oh, that's it! Pacey's cooking, now that's something you don't see every day."  
  
"Funny, Lindley, real funny," I joked back.  
  
"Actually," Joey said putting her arms around me from behind. "Pacey's been doing all of the cooking lately and the laundry and the cleaning."  
  
"Impressive," Jen said. "I always thought if there was anyone who could house break Pacey it'd be you, Joey."  
  
"You better watch it Lindley or I just might do something horrible to your food."  
  
We all laughed after a moment and Jen started down the stairs. She turned back after a second and said, "I really have missed you guys." We smiled at her as she walked away.  
  
I turned to Joey then. "How's Ryan?"  
  
"He's good. He's sleeping. I brought the monitor out so keep your ears open."  
  
I nodded. "You and Jen have a good talk?"  
  
"She asked me to be her maid of honor," she said with a beaming smile.  
  
"That's nice," I said sincerely.  
  
"Yeah, it is," she said glancing out towards the yard to see what everyone was doing.  
  
"So, how's everything going out here?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Well that food looks like it's almost done so I better go in and get the stuff," she said heading for the slider.  
  
"Gretchen and I took care of that. Everything is out on the table."  
  
"Oh," she said surprised. "You didn't have to do that."  
  
"This is your thing. Just enjoy yourself."  
  
She wrapped her arms around me again and looked up at me. "Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?"  
  
I smiled embarrassed and shrugged my shoulders. "You should probably go entertain our guests. And I should get back to this food."  
  
"Right," she sighed. "Listen for the baby," she told me as she released herself from my grasp and headed down the stairs.  
  
"Jo," I said grabbing her hand and pulling her back towards me to kiss her. She hugged me before she turned and walked away.  
  
She sat at the picnic table with Gretchen and Andie. Jen had joined the soccer game but she wasn't really playing, she and Tobey were pretending to be into the game but they were just busy talking. Finally, Jack kicked them off the field since they weren't serious about soccer and they joined everyone else at the table.  
  
Andie got up from the table after awhile and headed towards me. As she approached, a big smile came across her face.  
  
"Getting hungry?" I asked her. "It's almost ready."  
  
"Need any help?"  
  
"I'm good."  
  
She leaned up against the railing of the porch. "This was really great of you guys to invite us all here." "I can't take any of the credit. It was all Joey's idea."  
  
"You and Joey seem really happy," she said tilting her head to the side a little bit.  
  
"Definitely."  
  
"I just keep thinking about the last time I saw you. You guys were broken up and you were heading off to the Caribbean for the summer."  
  
"That was a million years ago and frankly, I can't believe that was the last time I saw you." I said with a disbelieving laugh.  
  
She laughed. "I know. Me either."  
  
"So, how is Italy?"  
  
She drew in a deep breath. "There are no words to describe how much I love it there."  
  
"That's really, really great."  
  
"Aside from the fact that I have a beautiful family, I have a really great job that I love. I get to help kids on a daily basis. I know from experience how much it means, as a kid, just having someone to talk to and I really love feeling like I make a difference. I mean, maybe I don't always make a difference but it's nice feeling like I do."  
  
"I'm sure you do. You certainly made one with me," I told her.  
  
"Well, you do know that you did the same thing for me?"  
  
I just smiled at her and we were quiet for awhile after that. There weren't many people in the world that you could just be with quietly without it feeling too awkward. Andie had always been one of those people. From the second I met her I knew she would be.  
  
"Jack and Tobey seem really great together," I said after awhile.  
  
She smiled. "Tobey has been really great for Jack." She glanced out towards the yard then glanced back at me. "Can I tell you something in confidence?" She had a giddy grin on her face.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"You have to promise not to say anything."  
  
"Andie, what are we in second grade. Do you want a pinky swear?" She laughed. "It's just that they asked me not to say anything because they want to tell everyone themselves but if I don't tell someone I'm going to explode and Roberto already knows so I can't tell him.." she rambled on and on without taking a breath.  
  
"Andie, just say it," I finally cut her off.  
  
She glanced out at the yard again to make sure no one was coming, then back at me with a giddy grin still on her face. "Jack and Tobey are going to adopt a baby."  
  
It was the last thing I expected to hear but it still made me very happy for some reason. A smile formed on my face. "Really?"  
  
"Isn't that so great?" she said almost in tears. She was holding her hands at her chest trying to contain her happiness. "Can you believe they made me keep it a secret?"  
  
"When are they going to spill the beans?"  
  
She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know."  
  
I folded my arms across my chest and smiled to myself.  
  
"What?" Andie asked sensing that I had something on my mind.  
  
"It's just.well, it's really amazing the way everything with all of us turned out."  
  
"We're all happy," she agreed.  
  
"And, for the most part, things are good."  
  
"And most importantly, we're all still friends," she said.  
  
"We're so lucky that we have this chance to see each other again."  
  
We were interrupted by Ryan's cries coming through the baby monitor.  
  
"Here," Andie said grabbing the spatula from my hand. "I'll take care of this. You go take care of your son."  
  
"Thanks," I told her as stepped inside the house.  
  
Inside the nursery I picked Ryan up from the bassinet. He stopped crying almost immediately and it made me think all he really wanted was for someone to hold him. I cradled him in my arms and smiled as I thought about Jack and Tobey as fathers. I remembered thinking that no one should be denied the opportunity to experience the feel of your own child in your arms, depending on you and your touch for his comfort. Good for them. Good for all of us that we were having a chance to see each other again, to witness the happiness in each other's lives, to remember what it was that brought us all together in the first place. 


	10. Part 9

PART 9  
  
Joey  
  
All of us were gathered around the picnic table eating the food Pacey had cooked. Marco, Isabella and Kristina were all playing in the sandbox Dawson and Gretchen had brought over, Ashley was inside napping and Ryan was right beside me sleeping in his playpen with an umbrella to shade him from the sun.  
  
"So, Jack, how is everything with your gallery?" I asked him. Jack had opened his very own art gallery over a year ago where he and Tobey lived in San Francisco. I'd never been to see it. He always promised to feature some of my art in the gallery but I never took him up on the offer.  
  
"It's great," he said wiping his mouth with his napkin. "We did a big show last weekend and I sold two pieces."  
  
"And he made a pretty good profit off sales of other artist's paintings as well," Tobey continued.  
  
"That's great! I still want to get out there and see your place sometime."  
  
"You should definitely go," Dawson chimed in. "Gretchen and I have been. It's a really great gallery."  
  
"Yeah," Jen agreed. "It is a really great place. Jack has it set up so nice and he has all of this really great art displayed there. I'm not even a big art fan and I enjoyed going there."  
  
"I also have to agree. Although he is my brother so I'm biased," Andie said with a giggle.  
  
"Thanks guys," Jack said sounding surprised. I noticed Tobey flash Jack a "see-I-told-you-so" look.  
  
"Pacey and I have to get out to California sooner or later," I said glancing over at Pacey. "Maybe next summer."  
  
"Yeah, I guess we're the only ones who haven't been," Pacey chuckled.  
  
"We'll have to do the fifteen year reunion at our house," Gretchen said.  
  
Dawson nodded. "Good idea."  
  
"Now how far are you guys from Jack and Tobey?" I asked.  
  
"A little over six hours."  
  
"Oh, wow, that far."  
  
"It's not a bad drive at all, really," Tobey said.  
  
"Yeah, we've done it a few times and I've actually enjoyed it," Gretchen agreed.  
  
"That's great that you guys are close enough that you get to see each other," I smiled.  
  
"Yeah, it is," Dawson said, "and we all love going to visit Jack and Tobey. Especially Isabella. She loves going to Jack's pee-wee soccer games."  
  
"That's great that you're coaching soccer again," I told Jack.  
  
"Yeah. I love it. I have a good little team too. I just need my nephew to move to San Francisco and join the team, then we could win the whole season." Jack said putting his arm around Andie.  
  
She smiled sadly. "Marco would love that."  
  
I saw Roberto concentrating on Andie as she hugged her brother. His eyes looked sad as he watched her and when she let go of Jack and turned to look at him again, he smiled at her. "It's hard for Andie," he told all of us, "to be away from all of you."  
  
"We miss her too," Jen said flashing a smile across the table at Andie.  
  
"Yeah," everybody seemed to say at the same time.  
  
Silence filled the air around the picnic table before Roberto spoke again. "Now that I've met all of you, I can see why it's so hard for her. You've created this big family amongst yourselves and it's obvious you all love each other very much."  
  
Pacey cleared his throat then spoke, "Knowing that Andie is happy in Italy makes it easier for all of us to have her so far away."  
  
"Yeah," Jack agreed with Pacey. He put his arm around Andie again. "All we ever wanted was for Andie to be happy. And she is now."  
  
Andie pulled away from Jack and put one arm around her husband. "Yes, I am very happy," she said wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. "But I do miss all of you, everyday," she said sadly. "I'm so glad that everybody got past all that crap that was going on back when I left to go to Italy. I'm glad we all stayed friends because Roberto's right, we did create a family. Jack and I, we never had much of a family and when we met all of you we just grabbed on and held tight. And now ten years later, there are all these new wonderful people in our lives, Roberto, Tobey, Tom, Gretchen and all of these beautiful children. I just.I just think we're so lucky.all of us." In the silence that followed nobody looked at anybody else. We stared at our food, or at the ground, over at the children, anywhere but at each other.  
  
Finally, Jen broke the silence. "Jesus, Andie, you are such a sap." She said with biting sarcasm but we all knew she was joking.  
  
Pacey was the first to laugh and Jack joined in after a few seconds. Surprisingly, Andie laughed next and when we all saw that Andie thought it was funny, the rest of us joined in.  
  
"Jen, you are such a bitch," Jack said still laughing hysterically.  
  
"And that is why you all love me," she responded.  
  
"Every group needs a bitch," Pacey said.  
  
"And we couldn't have asked for a better bitch," I helped.  
  
"Oh, that's funny, Joey," Jen said reaching behind Pacey to shove me.  
  
I just laughed.  
  
"Tom, are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?" Jack asked Jen's fiancé.  
  
Jen turned to Tom then and wrapped her arms around him protectively. "Don't listen to any of them. They're all liars," she told Tom.  
  
Tom smiled shyly as he returned her embrace. I knew him well from the time Pacey and I had spent with them when we lived in Boston and I knew he had nothing bad to say about Jen. I knew that with him, Jen was a completely different person. They were completely in love.  
  
"I am aware of what I'm getting into," he said with a smile, "and Jen is fine with me just the way she is."  
  
"Oh, that's so sweet," Andie said.  
  
"Yeah, he's great, isn't he?" Jen said kissing Tom on the cheek.  
  
"So, when are you guys getting married? Have you set a date?" Andie asked.  
  
"October 11th," Jen told her.  
  
"Will you guys be able to make it?" Tom asked Andie and Roberto. "I'm sure it's a lot of work for you to come just for a weekend but we'd really love you to be there." Andie and Roberto looked at each other for a second before Andie turned back. "We'll try. I'd really like to be there."  
  
"Of course, the rest of you will be there. Right?" Tom asked glancing at all of us around the table.  
  
"We wouldn't miss it," Dawson spoke for he and Gretchen, smiling cheerily at Jen and Tom.  
  
"I have no choice. Grams and I are walking her down the aisle," Jack told everyone.  
  
"Oh, Jen, what a great idea," Andie said with tears in her eyes.  
  
By looking at her, I could tell Jen was on the verge of tears herself. She smiled across the table at both Andie and Jack, agreeing silently with Andie's declaration that it was a great idea.  
  
"It's funny," Dawson declared after a few moments. "Gretchen and I haven't been back here to Capeside in three years and now we'll be here twice within the course of three months."  
  
"God, I'll be so pregnant in October," Gretchen said as if she suddenly remembered. Then I saw her flinch as she realized she'd just announced it to a table full of people who had no idea. Dawson just smiled proudly.  
  
"You're pregnant?!" Jack asked.  
  
"Five months," Dawson said with a huge smile.  
  
The entire table erupted at that. Jen and Andie were at Gretchen's side examining her tummy while Jack and Tobey congratulated Dawson and then Gretchen. Roberto and Tom expressed their congratulations from where they were sitting.  
  
"I can't believe you're gonna have four kids," Jen said once she was sitting beside Tom again.  
  
"That's what I said," Pacey turned to Jen. "They're nuts."  
  
"Well, you guys must be thinking about kids, right?" Andie asked Jen and Tom.  
  
I leaned forward to catch a glimpse of Jen's reaction to the question. She looked at Tom nervously and he smiled in an attempt to comfort her.  
  
"No, I don't think we're going to have any kids," Tom told Andie. He was trying to sound like he was okay with it but it was obvious he was sad.  
  
"Well, I don't think we've ruled it out just yet," Jen said grabbing his hand in hers. "We'll see."  
  
I smiled supportively and winked at her as Jen turned to catch my eye. Tom looked surprised and he searched Jen's face for an answer to his confusion.  
  
"Pacey, Joey. What about you guys? Are you planning to have more?" Andie asked us.  
  
I looked at Pacey and we both smiled remembering the conversation we'd had the night before. "Eventually," I told Andie. "Right now we're just getting used to one."  
  
"What about you, Miss Nosy Pants?" Pacey teased Andie.  
  
"Yeah, really," Jen said glancing at Pacey and then across the table at Andie. "What about you?"  
  
She laughed a little bit. "I just like to know these things," she defended herself. "And, we've been thinking about it," she said glancing up at Roberto.  
  
"We'd like to have a girl," Roberto added.  
  
"I've just been worried about having another child because of my illness and all. It was hard enough for me deciding to have the first one and we still don't know that he's in the clear."  
  
"Andie," Jack cut her off, "you turned out just fine."  
  
"I know, but I had a lot of rough times and I just couldn't live with myself if I passed this on to my children."  
  
Roberto rubbed Andie's back lightly as we all grew quiet again.  
  
"Boy," Andie laughed. "I guess I really know how to crash a party."  
  
"No," Pacey said waving his hand at her. "You didn't crash the party."  
  
"Of course not," I agreed.  
  
"Tobey and I have some happy news," Jack chimed in.  
  
"Tell us," Jen encouraged.  
  
I saw Pacey and Andie exchange a knowing look and a smile. I wondered if they both already knew about this good news as I set my eyes on Jack and Tobey. Jack grabbed Tobey's hand and glanced at him lovingly before turning back to all of us.  
  
"We're going to adopt a baby," he said with a huge smile.  
  
Everyone was quiet for a moment as the announcement registered in our minds. Jen and I were the first to jump up from the table and smother Jack and Tobey in gigantic hugs.  
  
I was crying as I sat back down beside Pacey. I whispered to him, "You knew already?"  
  
"Andie told me a little while ago. She made me promise not to tell."  
  
I nodded as Pacey got up and went to the other side of the table to congratulate Jack and Tobey. I watched him hug both of them and then tease them about making Andie keep it a secret.  
  
With Pacey gone from the bench and everyone else gathered around Jack and Tobey congratulating them, Jen scooted over to be closer to me. I put my arm around her neck and whispered in her ear. "Now I just have to keep trying to convince you that you'll make a great Mom and then all of us will have kids."  
  
She turned to look at me and, although I expected one of her familiar evil glares, she was smiling. "I think I'm warming up to the idea."  
  
"Good," I told her.  
  
"Can you believe these two?" she asked me pointing over to Jack and Tobey.  
  
"I think that's so great. Jack as a Dad. I can't imagine anything better than that."  
  
"I know," she said shaking her head in disbelief. "That's one lucky kid that ends up with those two."  
  
Andie joined us after a few seconds. She sat beside Jen and joined our private conversation. "I never thought I'd get any nieces or nephews," she said with a giddy smile.  
  
Jen and I laughed at the same time.  
  
"Andie," Jen said in a serious tone, "you should have a second baby."  
  
Andie's smile saddened and she looked towards the ground. "You guys don't understand how it is for me."  
  
"You're right, we don't understand," I said reaching across Jen for Andie's hand. "This is probably gonna sound pretty wacky," I warned them with a small laugh, "but I don't think God gives us anything we can't handle."  
  
To my surprise, Jen didn't harass me for talking about God. She and Andie both just stared at me as though they were waiting for me to say more.  
  
"I think the three of us can attest to that. I mean, I survived my mother's death and my father's many indiscretions. And believe me, when those things happened, I thought I'd never make it." I paused briefly and took a deep breath.  
  
"And, Jen, she survived her asshole parents," we all laughed briefly at that. "Andie, you made it through your brother's death, your mother's illness and then your own illness. And you came out of it on top. You're a strong lady," I said with a funny voice trying to lighten the mood a little. They both smiled.  
  
"So, what are you saying?" Andie asked me.  
  
"I think," Jen cut in, "I think she's saying that God isn't cruel enough to give you a sick child but that if it ends up that you do have a sick child, there's no one stronger and more full of love than you to handle it." Jen glanced at me for my approval.  
  
I nodded a little unable to speak, then I laughed. "She said it much better than I was going to say it."  
  
"Thank you, guys," Andie said softly as she rested her head on Jen's shoulder.  
  
"Anytime," I told her squeezing her hand.  
  
"Yeah, anytime," Jen said patting Andie's shoulder and smiling at me. 


	11. Part 10

PART 10 Pacey  
  
On the last night of our "reunion" we all gathered around a fire that Dawson and I built in the backyard. Dawson and Gretchen's daughters were at the Leery's asleep in bed for the night. Marco was at Andie and Jack's father's house asleep.  
  
Between our nightly get-togethers and everyone's daily routines with family, the two weeks that everyone had been in Capeside flew by. The Witter family reunion had gone smoothly and Gretchen and I were still in disbelief over it. Andie and Jack had been to visit their mother in the hospital and had spent the two weeks at home with their father. Jen's wedding plans were almost all done with Grams' help.  
  
"This feels like déjà vu," Andie said as we all settled in around the fire.  
  
Dawson chuckled. "Yeah, we do this sitting around a fire thing a lot."  
  
Joey was sitting beside me and she looked over at me with a smile. I leaned in to kiss her knowing that we were both remembering our important moments in front of fires. They were our private moments, most of them only things we knew about. Like the night I watched her sleep in front of the fire. It was the night I fell in love with her but I'd been unable to really admit it to myself until some time later. Months later, after I'd kissed Joey and things had become really awkward between us, we'd gone to Dawson's Aunt Gwen's house for Spring Break. It was in front of a fire again that Joey had finally been able to admit she felt for me what I felt for her. She let me know with the most amazing kiss. A kiss I had been waiting for my whole life.  
  
"Ah yes," Jen said remembering. "That horrible Thanksgiving when my mother came to visit."  
  
"And my parents finalized their divorce," Dawson said. We all laughed at that memory because in the summer of the following year, Dawson's parents were remarried.  
  
"Our Dad ditched us for yet another business trip," Andie said glancing at Jack.  
  
"And you and Pacey were still in that awkward post-breakup stage," Jack reminded her.  
  
"God," Andie said with a laugh. "I forgot about that."  
  
"You kept asking me if he ever talked about you," Joey said to Andie.  
  
I chuckled softly to myself as I thought of the no-strings-attached sexual relationship Jen and I had been trying hard to have that Thanksgiving. I decided not to mention it since I wasn't sure anyone other than Jen, Joey and I knew about it.  
  
"I guess we all had some crazy stuff going on back then," Dawson said.  
  
"And at the end of the night we all gathered around a fire and made each other feel better," Joey said.  
  
"Yeah, Dawson fed us some cheesy line about it being 'an honor and a privilege' to have all of us to turn to," Jen joked.  
  
Dawson laughed. "Geez, Jen, you have it memorized."  
  
"I know. I think that is exactly what you said," Joey said as though she was trying to remember.  
  
"Yes, it was," I said surprising everyone. "And then Joey ragged on Dawson for being so cheesy. Saying something like she couldn't wait for the Oscar acceptance speech, we'd all be in tears."  
  
All of us burst into laughter after that. We were laughing at the memory and at the truthfulness of the statement. It was true even many years later.  
  
"We all love you, Dawson," Joey said with a smirk. "Especially me, you know that. But you have to admit you have always been and still are the biggest cheeseball around."  
  
"Oh, god, tell me about it," Gretchen said. "You should've seen him when I had all the kids. And when I told him about this one," she said rubbing her belly softly and rolling her eyes.  
  
"Hey," Dawson said with a big goofy grin on his face. "You guys are supposed to be my friends. And you," he said pointing at Gretchen, "are supposed to be my wife."  
  
We all laughed. Dawson too.  
  
"Hey," Andie said excitedly. "I just thought of another time we were all gathered around a fire like this."  
  
"That time at the Potter B & B when that critic came for the weekend to review the place. What was his name again?" Dawson said trying to remember.  
  
"Fred Fricke," I said with a laugh.  
  
"Oh, god, don't remind me," Joey moaned.  
  
"Aw, honey, everything turned out okay in the end," I teased her.  
  
"Thank god," she said with a smirk. "Or else Bessie, Bodie, Alex and I would've all ended up in the poorhouse. Thank god I had.have such good friends." We all smiled at each other around the fire after that. There was a quiet moment before Andie spoke again.  
  
"Didn't we go around the room that night and talk about smells?" she said it with a chuckle probably realizing how silly it must have sounded.  
  
"Yeah," Dawson said remembering, "everyone talked about a smell that had been important in their lives. I, as could only be expected, said phenylene diamine which is a chemical used to process film."  
  
Jen rolled her eyes. "Ah yes, the film geek lives on."  
  
"If I remember correctly, Jen, your favorite smell was mothballs. So, maybe you should just leave Dawson alone on that one," Joey said with a sarcastic smile. We all laughed as Dawson and Joey slapped each other five.  
  
"Mothballs?" Tom made a grossed out face as he questioned Jen.  
  
She shrugged her shoulders. "It's a long story. Remind me to tell you so you don't go on thinking I'm weird the way these guys want you to."  
  
Tom put his arm around Jen and pulled her closer to him.  
  
"I remember that Grams built the fire," Jack said.  
  
"She took right over and showed the men who was boss," Jen said proudly.  
  
"Grams is definitely the boss," Jack agreed.  
  
Staring into the fire, I thought of the story Grams had told all of us that night about she and her husband. How they spent every night in front of the fire reading to each other and falling asleep in each other's arms. I smiled to myself as I thought about Joey and I. We'd picked up the tradition of reading to each other when we spent the summer on True Love sailing down the coast. There weren't really any other forms of entertainment when you were in the middle of the ocean so we'd decided to read. We'd pick up different books whenever we stopped in a port and usually finished them pretty quickly. Eventually, it became something we loved to do together. Even now at times when things weren't so busy, we'd read to each other before bed.  
  
"These two weeks," Andie said softly breaking the silence, "have gone by so fast."  
  
We all nodded in agreement.  
  
"It's been a great two weeks, though," Jen said. Even though I knew that comment coming from Jen had surprised us all, no one said anything.  
  
"This was a great idea, Jo," I said pulling her closer to me.  
  
"Yeah, it really was," Dawson agreed.  
  
"Let's do it more often," Jack said.  
  
"Definitely," we all seemed to say it at the same time and it made us all laugh again.  
  
A little while later, Dawson and I put the fire out. Inside we all said our good-byes, hug and kisses were distributed, tears were shed. It was a bittersweet moment made that much sweeter by the notion that we'd see each other again in just a few short months for Jen's wedding.  
  
Joey and I stood in the doorway, holding hands and watching everyone leave. When we couldn't see the cars anymore, Joey turned and pulled me into a hug. I could feel her crying and it made it harder for me to hold back my tears.  
  
Finally she pulled away from me and greeted me with a smile. "I remember your favorite smell. Do you remember mine?"  
  
I smiled and creased my brow at her.  
  
"Yours was snow," she said matter-of-factly.  
  
"I can't believe you remember that."  
  
"I remember everything," she winked at me.  
  
"That's my line," I laughed.  
  
"Apparently not anymore," she said sarcastically.  
  
I kissed her softly and whispered into her lips, "Bacon."  
  
She pulled away quickly. Her eyes were wide open and she had a huge grin on her face. "You do remember," she said with puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"I don't know what I was thinking. Of course you remember."  
  
I chuckled. "Let's go to bed."  
  
"I want to check on Ryan first."  
  
I nodded and followed her into the nursery. We stood over our son's bassinet for a few moments before Joey moved to put her arm around me.  
  
"I hope someday he grows up and has good friends like we do," Joey whispered to me. "I really cherish those friendships, especially yours," she said with a quick smile, "and I'm so thankful that I have those memories to carry with me throughout my life."  
  
"Me too," I said kissing the top of her head.  
  
As I settled into bed beside Joey, I kept thinking that memories were such a precious thing. You could carry them in your heart for your whole life and never forget anything important that way. Joey and me, Dawson and Jen, Andie and Jack we had so many to hold onto. Andie was right when she said we were lucky. And Roberto was right when he talked about the family we'd all created. It was a family that grew bigger and better each day with spouses and children. Only through the birth of my own child, a newfound relationship with my parents, and a solid. loving relationship with Joey could I come to understand just how important it was to have a family. Family and life, friendship and love-it all really was a miracle. 


End file.
